• Nischala

    Ritu – Very well articulated and excellent choice of topic. Been on my mind too for past few days.. But I think some element of fear is required for discipline. Children (as many adults) don’t like to do so many *RIGHT* things, and till an age they don’t have the maturity to understand the *WHY*. Till such age, I believe some element of fear is probably absolutely essential to get them develop good habits! My lil one is really not scared of anything (inspite / despite me telling her stories of X, Y and Z). if i tell her that I’m going to call police uncle if she does not sleep, she’ll pick up the toy phone & say “Hello police uncle, mummy is troubling me.. please help! :(.. Atleast you have a lizard for resuce :).. where do i go!

  • V ki Amma

    Yes Nischala, it is really, really tough. We still talk about ‘tit-titi’ (my son’s version of tiktiki or lizard as it is called in Bangla) every time we have to discipline him. But really to a toddler it hardly matters. My son is quick to response, “tit-titi palaa” as in ‘lizard go away!’ Nothing works…

  • Hi Rituparna: Good read. I remember when our elder daughter was much younger say till 4 years of age she had no fear but later she developed a fear of sleeping alone, darkness etc. I am not sure if this was after she started watching TV or what, or something else. As a side note, none of our kids are scared of poor papa, its the mom who maintains decorum in house.

    • V ki Amma

      Hi Prasad, my son is a very social boy. He will befriend an absolute stranger with a smile and shake hands. So taking him out is always so tough. I am always afraid he will walk off with a stranger. Taking him to a mall is particularly challenging. He insists on running around unaided. Last week when we were in Lifestyle he took off on his own (with his nanny following him). As he walked away he turned to look for me and when he couldn’t see me he started crying. His nanny was there before him, but he was looking for me. Needless to say the rest of the evening was spent doing the same drill at least 5 times! So yes, one never knows when fear sets in and how. He was clearly scared of losing me and not being lost himself. I have heard of many kids being afraid to sleep alone. V can’t because he has little patience to put himself to sleep. I think darkness is one common thing that scares kids. Between the dad and I we play the good cop, bad cop pretty well. And yes, sons aren’t scared of Dads, and I would hate it to have my kid be scared of me. There, I go again…

      • Separating from family is a big anxiety in my generation, who grew on Kumbh Mela type of movies. Here is my experience with the same: https://www.parentous.com/2012/12/11/resident-explorer-kids-explore-parents-concerned/

        • V ki Amma

          Oh it is for me too Prasad! This pujo we visited puja pandals that were teeming with people. Since the boy’s daddy was busy at work, I was left to run around the boy. And trust me, this Kumbh kindda fear gripped me every now and then. He would let go off my hand and run along. Somewhere on the way he would stop and turn to look around. In his usual gleeful state, he would laugh his heart out and continue to run. Damn…do you realise from talking about fear in children, we are talking about our own fears!!