10 things that I can’t do anymore without a lot of deliberation and planning.
They say your life changes when you are a mom. I did not know how serious people were when they said that till I actually became a mom.
But there are times when you want to relive the old times – times when you were not a mom – when you were childless and carefree (even though you are married, you can still do a lot of things alone!). Even though you do manage to do these things, you have to do it with LOTS of thinking and planning and that really kills half the fun!
Here are some of the things I miss doing now that I am mom:
1. Reading: When I used to breastfeed, I used to read using my tablet backlight at night. I read my first hard bound book after 2 years since my son was born. Why? First few months – too busy to touch a book during the day, next few months – my son would chew the book, now – he wants me to read to him from the book. And really I am in no mood to read to him about Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Slayer.
2. Eating whatever you want and wherever you want: When my son was born – I had to eat food which was ‘strengthening’ and ‘good for milk production’. Then it was making food which was good for your son to eat and you end up eating overcooked khichdi with a wee bit more spice than what you make for your son. I didn’t want to load myself and my cook for making separate dishes. Now it is about eating bland food, since my son wants to mooch off my plate and he can’t stand chillies. Also once in a while you feel like eating junk food – like fries and pizzas – I manage to eat that only when my son is asleep – for obvious reasons!
Also dining out is a nightmare, though as a non-mom I used love fine dining out. But with a toddler you get to choose only one – run after the toddler who is busy finding the restaurant experience amazing or eating your food. More often than not you end up chasing the toddler and your food gets cold or you are too tired to eat after so much activity.
3. Waking up in the afternoon: There were times before the baby, I could sleep for as long as I wanted during the day. I have even woken up at noon! But ever since I have been a mom, l wake up – like it or not – 6 am and sometimes at 5 am! I am not a morning person and I hate this trend. I only hope it gets better!
4. Sleeping: This is a luxury even now. I long for uninterrupted sleep even now. Earlier it was broken sleep because of night feeds. Now it is night terrors. I don’t know what else is in store for the future.
5. Going for a movie: Before I was a mom, I could get up one Saturday morning, look at the papers and decide to go for a movie in an hour. Now I need to plan a week in advance to see a movie by which time either the movie has left the theatres or you have lost interest. Late night movies or early morning shows will never happen probably till my son is 18!
6. Shopping: I could spend with abandon on myself earlier. Clothes, shoes and accessories online and offline were easy to come by and I had an up to date wardrobe. Two reasons stop me from shopping now – every penny I spend on myself I think I can save it up to get my son something nice or save for his future. The other reason that is a stronger reason why I don’t shop is nothing fits me now…it will probably take me another decade to get back into shape!
7. Working full time: I was a workaholic before I was a mom. I used to start work at 9 am and end only at 10.30 pm. I had an international role in a well established organisation but I worked crazy hours! I can’t dream of getting back to where I was now when I look at my son’s eyes.
8. While away time! : Speaking on the phone, catching up with friends online or offline is simply so difficult without elaborate planning. My son wants to either be part of every conversation I have or he takes offence that I am not giving him enough attention. Having an adult conversation without child interruption is a challenge that I am sure I will overcome as soon as my son becomes an adult!
9. Drinking: Not that I am a regular drinker – though I would love to be one…I miss having even a glass of wine for fear of being tipsy. When breastfeeding, drinking is sacrilegious – so never drank then. You can say I lost practice of making and drinking a good drink after that!
10. Grooming myself: I used to regularly visit the parlour to groom myself. But ever since I turned ‘mom’ I have been the most unkempt person ever! I went to get a haircut a year after my son was born and the second one after another year! I resembled a bear to say the least.
This is only ten of the things you cannot do. But the list of what you can do as a mom runs longer! Probably that is something I will write next. Life changes they say, but only for the better. Maybe the stuff you can’t do, I guess you can live without when you know you are doing it for someone who is going to love you conditionally. I think at the end of the day that’s what really matters!
Janice is a communications professional, a social media enthusiast and a mother of two boys (one deceased). A keen follower of parenting trends, she dotes on her son while photographing him and anything that catches her fancy. An ardent foodie, she cooks traditional and modern recipes – compiling all of it on her blog – ilivetoeatblog.wordpress.com. Working with startups and entrepreneurs on their communications strategies with her partner during the day, she has just enough time in the day to read, write and tweet @janoella.