• Jairam Mohan

    As usual, Doctor, that was such a wonderfully informative post. The beauty of all your posts is that you are not too preachy but still manage to get the point across.

    Regarding molding children, am on board with all your suggestions and completely agree with you on the fact that it is a slow, tedious, laborious process, but the end result is beautiful. Loved the potter and clay analogy there.

    Wonderful post…

    • Dr Chander Asrani

      Hi! Jairam
      Thanks for your feedback. I guess I am fortunate to have a large group of families as my long term patients and I am involved in guiding them into even non-health issues. With such vast inputs, I am able to pick up some gems and share. 🙂

  • Even as I sit agreeing with this post, I continue confused:

    1. Where does one draw the line between ‘forceful parenting’ and ‘moulding’, especially since moulding is nothing but leading them on a path we, as parents/children, have tried-and-tested, and one which we believe is the best way forward. (Since no parent would lead them down the wrong path) And then, are we ‘forcing’ societal behaviour on them too, when they may want to break the social norms to be feel happy?

    2. For a layman, like me, with no qualification in Child Psychology, how do I look for/successfully find signs of what my yet-to-talk baby is thinking/wanting? Or, where do I get the courage to let him do as he pleases, knowing fully well that at 2 years of age, he probably doesn’t know best from worst?

    To me, rearing our child, bringing him up, and making him learn his world around cannot happen without an undercurrent of ‘moulding’ him. As a parent, the responsibility is ours that we do not ‘force-feed’, but then, the line remains thin!

    “today it is crystal clear that to develop a child’s mind and mold his personality, mental stimulation initiated by the parents is decisive without which the normal emotional and social development of a child can be lacking.” – This is a very helpful tip, as is this post. 🙂

    • Dr Chander Asrani

      Sakshi, Sorry for late reply.

      Yes the line is very very thin. The trick is to cajole them into following what you wish them to do and not “because I say so…”.

      Parents who talk to their kids, without thinking “will he understand what I am saying” always score high. Let us not forget that communication is > 75% non-verbal and we never tell a child, we care for you but still convey the feeling.

      Kids perceive from our tone and demeanour, when we are talking of how they should behave, and pick up the message.