Slowing Down

I’ve been a working mother before; now, I am a SAHM.

I’ve worked for a couple of years after the kids were born and then, chose to stay at home mostly for the sake of my sanity and a wee bit, for the kids’ well being, too. Now, I’ve been at home for a good ten months or so. One of my friends had asked me a few days ago about the changes I see turning from working mother to a SAHM. The question made me think. A lot.

The first and only big change that comes to my mind is having slowed down from what I was earlier. Big big time.

I’ve been this perennial sprinter. I’ve lived most of my life in fast forward mode. I’ve (am) been the cashew nut in the family. I can’t stand slowing down. So, when I chose to stay at home, this was something that I had to give a lot of thought about. Will I be able to survive on a normal mode? Will I make peace with having time on my hands? Am I cut out for this SAHM gig? Now, after ten months of being at home, I can comfortably say that I am actually happy being at my place now.

When people ask me if I have my hands full and busy round the clock ‘cos of having twins, I am quick enough to reveal that I get a few hours of me-time every day. I use this time to read. To try out new recipes. To bake. To (learn to) swim. To exercise. To just sit down and relax.

Believe me when I say that I’ve benefited a lot from actually slowing down. The stressful life I lived as a working woman had taken a toll on my health. Now, I am off medication from the time I chose to stay at home. I keep a tab on what I eat and also what I give to eat to my children. Another big advantage of slowing down, at least for me, is that I am a more relaxed mother to my kids. Earlier, may be due to the stress or otherwise, I’d rather cut short their questions than actually taking time to think through and answer them. Now, all of us sit together and read about stuff, debate it and then, come to conclusions.

So, is it all rosy and green when we slow down? Isn’t there never an urge to go back to the self that I am? I can’t say there isn’t; always. There are times when I wonder if I should get back to my older competitive self. But then, I look at the positives of leading this comfortable lethargic life. They currently outweigh the monetary rewards that competition chooses to offer; the operative word being currently. The moment I believe that this relaxation is getting too monotonous to bear, I’d try getting back to the monetary grind. After all, I’m fortunate enough to have the benefit of choice. Sigh.

Indu is a dreamer by nature; a (former) chartered accountant by profession; and a writer by passion. Her life right now, revolves around her four year old twin boy and girl. The two naughty siblings love to play their pranks on her every day, making her both smile and wince at once. She loves to leave a trail of her life at her blog.