The Surrender Key
I was neck deep into my laptop. Had a deadline to meet. The two year old appeared. Crawled into my lap and snatched my palms into her tiny hands. Gave me an ear to ear grin, said in a pleading tone “Maam.. tigger dekhna hai mujhe.. blue tigger..”. Thought for a while and rephrased “no..no.. elephantta.. green elephantta”.
The very important mail slipped silently into the draft stage awaiting its turn when kid would go back to sleep and new tab on browser started opening with Google images of blue tiger, green elephants, pink frogs, purple lions…
I surrendered that moment to her wish. Many times before, several times after.
“To surrender” is a ritual we parents practice every moment. Its a sly art that we master along our journey to parenthood. Surrender is that bargain that instantly puts us on winning mode. Had I not surrendered to those absurd color animals I would not never seen those twinkling eyes. I would not have felt winner without winning.
We parents have an instinct to see the silver lining much before we surrender. We define new terms and phrases as we keep surrendering.
When I can’t further deal with the mess my overactive kid keeps producing, I surrender saying “A mess today is a memory tomorrow”.
With crayons, stacking rings, plastic alphabets and building blocks doing rounds in the house, I am left with no choice but to enjoy it. I redefine happiness, using that same mess. I freeze the mess in a frame and add a caption that “Happiness comes in many colors, mostly vibrant. Its messy in nature and smells like baby powder”.
Surrender adds dimension. Many people also call it creativity.
Surrender brings leisure. Many people mistake it for laziness.
How much to surrender is the tricky bit, but the more you surrender for harmless moments, better you are prepared to bargain for the big show. Keep giving many small measures and your kid will surprise you surrendering to your bigger bet. These moments of surrendering will concrete the trust, building hope.
We surrender out of compulsion, choice or for a change. But whenever we surrender, it is our decision. Hence the strength.
So often, mother surrenders to herself. Just the moment before reaching the breaking point, surrender allows us to confide. A warm, protective shelter much like mother’s womb. Surrender makes us stronger. Every mother knows that trick.
We surrender our priorities, routine, sleep, diet and even foul words. Last being the most toughest. Surrender is that shaker that gives a nice shake to the things that once mattered, bringing a new blend of things that brings happiness. Sometimes you have to add chocolate toppings, though.
We surrender our past, as present demands that. We surrender our present, as future keeps calling. We surrender like we are born to do so. We wear it on our sleeves, we tie it like bandana, sometimes we flaunt it like the new silk skirt.
Wrap surrender the way you wish, it will certainly bring the warmth back.
Amrita Thavrani is a mother to a two year old daughter. She writes children stories at thestoryhook.blogspot.com. Say hello to her while strolling at the tweet street @TheSeeSawMother.