Cynicism, Prejudices and Children

Sometimes, it is easy to douse the fire of adventure and curiosity.

Sometimes, desire and drive can be carelessly strangulated…

…. All by a parent’s highly careful attitude towards the upbringing of their child.

As adults and parents, we have seen life. Let’s get that straight. That indeed is a fact. Dipping into the pockets of the large experience that we have had as children, youngsters and as adults, we are indeed equipped with a plethora of information and knowledge that can help us in safeguarding the lives of our children and making it better. But, are we indeed that perfect? Is our so called experience not without its quota of prejudice and cynicism? When was the last time we told our kids, “Oh all right, go right ahead and try that new thing out. I am not so sure about it… didn’t work for me when I was a kid…it just might work out for you.”

Chances are that 9 out 10, we are bound to dissuade our children from trying out something new, from attempting something that we weren’t successful at. Now, why would we do that?

Well, as caring parents, we don’t want our children to get hurt, to face disappointment or simply putting it, we don’t want our loving kids to lose faith. Right? But, in the process of preventing bad from happening to our children we are only encouraging them to take it easy, to value life less and to basically not use their grey cells and intuition! Now, how would such a child turn out to be… if not now, then later in life?

Being the know-it-all, ‘I told you so’ kind of parents, we are definitely going to get children who are locked in confusing thoughts of life. On one side, the children are told, be yourself, be natural. Yet, on another side we tell them to be careful, to do all that we say BECAUSE we have gone through it all. In today’s world, if children were to browse through the guidebooks of our life and apply them then, life is not going to be a cakewalk, nor is it going to appear sensible to them. What applied to us then, way back, hamaare zamaane ke time mein cannot hold true a full 100% today for them.

And here, I am not talking about values. For that another discussion would be required. What I am trying to say is that the rules of survival are different today. By being skeptical, by being careful to the extent of being discouraging, we are only killing the child in our children. Yes, we must warn them about the dangers that lurk around. No, we must not influence their thought process and murder all originality. Yes, we must lovingly tend to the sapling. No, we must not overflow their system entirely with our overpowering emotions. Yes, we must talk to them, discuss with them. No, we must not prejudice them about situations, ideas or people.

Children have that little thing within them which many of us as adults have successfully managed to get rid of – the sense of natural instinct. By living and re-living our lives in society, we have shrewdly learnt the laws of the game. And, we desperately want our children to learn them too, and soon so that they don’t suffer disillusion or hurt as we did. But then, aren’t we forgetting one important aspect? Didn’t we also learn by trial and error? Didn’t we also reach this pinnacle of survival and comfort today by experiencing life as it came to us albeit with a little help and support from family and friends?

Let’s do that for our children. Let’s not plague them with overburdening doubt and fear. Let us just let them be……

Shail Raghuvanshi is a freelance journalist, content writer, editor, book reviewer and poet. She has 15 years of writing experience in newspaper, magazine, radio and television. She has worked as a Spoken English Teacher too. She runs a blog for writers called Write Space  and blogs at her personal blog Muse N’ Motivation. A daughter, wife, mother and friend, she believes that there is no situation that can’t be made better. Faith, Friendship and Family are what makes her life complete.