• Oh yeah…we need to give them the space, respect their feelings and allow them to decide on small things.
    I know of a mother who’ll patiently wait outside the bathroom with a towel in her hand, when her goes in for a bath. Why can’t she train him to take one on his own ??
    Even choosing what dress to wear – the boy will call out to her !!! And all these when he was in college !!!
    What kind of children do these mothers bring up ??? There is no sense of individuality at all !!!

    Thoughtful post !!!

    • I think the kids that are too indulged tend to expect to be waited upon by parents and they may get a false sense of what parents will do for them.
      Like a lot of material things that we give our kids we also need to give them there space as they grow.

  • Oh my god! Yeah, I have seen such “helicopter” moms … They are constantly behind their kids! And these are the ones that make dangerous mothers-in-law.

  • I have witnessed these kind of moms very closely. And they do make Terrible Moms-in-law.
    My aunt is such a mom, and I pity my cousin. He cannot even tell her to stop or else he will have to bear the consequences. Moms like this should understand, they’re not helping their children by being over-protective.

    • Hi Falak… my sympathies with your cousin… but one day he will have to take a stand for the sanity of every body around.

  • Ouch, that was crazy! Who would want to be close to their mom when she does that that, especially when a child reaches the teens. Teenagers need to be given their space I guess. Am yet to reach that stage, have a 4 year old. But God help me, this is not something I would ever do.

    • Hi Simran..You are right teens tend to be very sensitive and need more space than a younger kid.

      • True, many mothers simply wont let go. I have also seen , in some cases, such sons, dump their mother , after marriage and become joru ka ghulam! They are only physically present at home, but the control is with the mother/wife.

        Seriously, parenting lessons are required, before anyone thinks of having a child!

        • Thanks Pattu mam… I think too much caring is just another form of too much control, albeit sugar coated and as you very rightly say it may lead to a situation when the child rebels.

  • Amrita Thavrani

    There are control freak moms, have seen any of them. They do so much of harm for the self – esteem and decision making power of their kids. We have abundance of such tribes.

    • Hi Amrita… I think too much control in the long run will always backfire.

  • So funny!!..but, I always feel that mommy of boy’s are generally more control freaks :).hence, they make dangerous MIL..

    • Hi Vandana… U are right the truth is that the mama’s boys are not appreciated by anybody today so the moms should avoid going to that path.

  • Ugh. Poor boy! Sometimes mothers can go overboard in the name of care, love and what not. The boy will grow and then continue to harbour that resentment which will result him in treating his wife and other women with contempt. God forbid that does not happen.

    You’re right when you say that parents should give space and freedom to the degree that is acceptable in that age. Too much control will smother and choke the kids beyond repair.

    This quote from Gibran (though meant for love and marriage) comes to my mind:

    “Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

    Joy always,

  • Hi Susan… Thanks for the comment, you have very aptly summarized using Khalil Gibran’s quote… beautiful.

  • Roshni

    oof!!! Cannot stand those moms (and sometimes, dads!). They just don’t let the kid grow up! The child either cannot wait to get away or else grows up with no sense of self! Both situations are equally sad!

    • Right said Roshni…extremes on either side are not good… thks