Some people think that it is easier to have a second baby; after all you have already had one, right? Wrong! It is much tougher for the very same reason. You have had one baby, and you know exactly how much hard work a baby involves. Yes, there are pleasures along the way, but the challenges are actually more and different. I read somewhere that “Having a second baby is even more difficult because this time you are changing a family!”
This is so true! When you plan for a second child, you are already a family unit. Your elder child is the apple of your eye and has been used to your undiluted attention and pampering. Now, you bring a second baby into your lives and your family unit is undergoing a huge metamorphosis. Your elder child resents the intrusion in his/her domain and especially in mom and dad’s attention and love. And, the brother or sister does not seem like too much fun, now do they? They are too little to interact or play with. The little one just cries, sleeps, poops and pees, and mom and dad are now at that one’s beck and call!
In my case, it was very tough when I planned for the second baby. I was trying to get back to active professional work. We were just past the initial turbulent years of child rearing. Our child was now potty trained and had started school. Life was looking like getting back to normal. And I was considering throwing all this away and descending into chaos? And there were pressures of a different kind. My son wanted a sibling! He, in fact, demanded one. All his friends had a sister or a brother to play with. Why couldn’t mom go and get one from the hospital? Damn! I wish it were that simple, and they could have come with return policies as well from the hospital :).
Jokes aside, the thought of going through another pregnancy, the physical and emotional upheavals, the delivery and recovery, the constant sleep deprivation, losing my regained figure and becoming a cow were all playing on my mind. And this time around there were emotional and physical issues of doing the balancing act of letting the older one not feel neglected yet giving optimum attention to the newborn. I had no clue how tough that would be. Did I have it in me to go through it again? I was really in a dilemma. Both of us were confused.
What finally made us go for the second child was the fact that somewhere in our hearts we wanted our son to have what both of us had – siblings. I have a brother and a sister, and they are precious. The bonding we share is something else. Same applies to hubby who has two elder sisters. How can we deprive our child from having that? I wanted them to have each other long after mom and dad were gone.
And so we went ahead. Our family got bigger and more beautiful when my younger son joined us. So different from his elder brother and a darling of all of us, it is now difficult to imagine that there was a time he was not in our lives. And despite all the yelling and tiffs that the kids subject us too, it is heartwarming to see their camaraderie and love for each other. All the troubles were indeed worth it!
Yes, my sabbatical got extended. We as a family including my elder son pitched in to cope, but end of the day we are happy to be together as a family!
Rachna Parmar is an avid blogger, a passionate cook, fitness enthusiast, loving wife, and mom to two feisty sons and a Labrador! She is also a Freelance Content Writer and an entrepreneur. She co-owns her startup, Tranquil Software Solutions Pvt. Ltd. Reach her at http://rachnaparmar.com or @rachnaparmar her twitter handle.