Being a parent of one child makes you proud and of two makes you wise. Yes, I mean it!! I am sure all parents of two or more children would share the same sentiment. Being parents of two is a tug of war situation in our daily schedule. It is very difficult to be patient with four hands pulling you evenly on both sides while you are trying to strike a balance by maintaining equilibrium. It can be a war of words or even a war of swords which may result in spewing of anger and hatred. When that happens, you have to be a referee and blow your whistle. You may get punched either verbally or physically in between.
When my first sonny boy was born, I told myself that I have to gather my strength and lots of patience to bring him up. Somehow I would envy the friends and relatives who had well disciplined kids. But by thinking about these biases I was only damaging my morale of bringing up a kid. So I came to terms and ensured that I give all the love, care, daily dose of discipline and attention to my son. The initial years were full of pampering by everyone and me on the other side showing the cane when it came to discipline.
After six years, when my second one, again a boy, was born, my elder son told everyone that God heard his prayers and gave him a brother. They are sometimes hand in gloves but this is a temporary stage. The negativity creeps in and both the boys express their apprehension very strongly. The thought of insecurity, the divided attention and then the innocent question of “why scold only me and not him?’’ is reiterated every now and then. As siblings, we all have experienced this outburst of negative emotions. When the siblings are of the same gender, there can be extremes. Either they live cordially or there would always be a world war in the living room, a live show for the tired parents.
Having a sibling is ideal. When in need, whatever the age gap or problem, your sibling will always stand by you. Siblings are those silent viewers of your life, they can hold you tight in need, wipe your tears, pamper you the same way like your parents do, support your liberal thoughts and even present your case to elders in case of conflicts.
It’s a beautiful relation which we as parents should nurture and teach our kids that they are responsible to each other. My sister and I still have differences, but I never viewed her competency in academics jealously. Instead I treated her as my role model. At times I did feel like she was always a few steps ahead of me. But I never let that deter my progress. Today my older one gives it back to any child who causes harm or ridicules his younger brother. He has some insecurities about the new entrant in the family but at the end of the day he showed he expressed love for his brother. I have seen extreme outburst of emotions if his little brother accidentally fell from the bed or jammed his finger in the door.
The younger one also shares the same sentiment. He rushes to open the door when his brother returns from school, cuddles him even though his hands are dirty. And at times, he kisses him endlessly or be a sworn partner to his brother’s folly.
The hurtful words and the fist fights should all be discouraged by us parents. Encourage the children to be responsible for each other, create a sense of affection where both kids remember these values. Lastly, we as parents have to set an example ourselves. You have to be cordial to your sibling too. Your child is watching you, and he is capable of noticing the finer details which you may skip. As they say becoming parents is easy but practicing parenthood is the most difficult task. May we all learn parenting as our kids learn being kids. Happy Parenting!!
Moushumi says- After 12 years of banking experience, I chose to take a sabbatical for my kids and be an enterprising mother. I am a Bachelor in Commerce, Masters in Finance Management and done diploma in creative writing. Writing is my passion and wish to develop it further. My husband is my inspiration to all my aspirations. I am a mother of two sons, my elder being 6 yrs old and younger about 1 month old . I love traveling and writing about places visited and every thought that fascinates me. All this can be read in my blog Life Bytes.