• This Equal parenting is not as common as I thought!! Thanks for bringing this up and its importance!

    • No Divya, it is certainly not common especially in traditional and/or joint families. With many people around to take care of children, dads are usually not so much involved with kids on day-to-day basis.

  • Sumedha

    Good one Reema .. I am also honored with enjoying equal parenting.. My husband really with me in all the way . Thanks for taking this issue as there few friend’s / relatives in-laws at home still thinks my hubby is caring extra for us being taking care for my daughter when its not possible for me.. Nice one

    • I know Sumedha, people make you feel guilty of getting YOUR work done by your husband. They don’t believe that the responsibilities rest equally on fathers and mothers. But thank God, we have men in our lives who believe in equal parenting!

  • Wonderful post, and I wholeheartedly agree. I feel I am married to an equal parenting partner, but sometimes I still see glimpses of myself as Parenting Project Manager. It is easy for husbands to defer to their wives for parenting guidance, and from there, it is easy to slide into unequal roles. This is such an important issue, and when done properly, it can really prevent unhappy mothers, I think.

    • You are absolutely right Stephanie. I have observed that dads are more hands-on, while moms will do a lot of research, read up, chat with fellow mothers etc.
      In this book ‘Raising Boys’, there is a chapter where one such case is discussed. The dad and mom realised after several years that the mom, unintentionally of course, came in the way of spontaneous relationship between the dad and the children. We have to let go of our control 🙂

  • Roshni

    hahahha!! I told my husband when I was pregnant that I had NEVER handled a baby before this! After his initial shock, he came up to speed and more! I can safely say that I am the unequal parent in our house!! 😀

    • Even I had never handled a baby before. I have beenthe sort of person who has neve been into kids, you know kids’ favourite didi or aunty, that I have neve been! But parenting is a spontaneous learning experience. My hubby would not even hold a newborn baby before we had one, but after ‘the star’ came into our lives, he believes we have to do it and do it well 🙂

  • Fab

    I think sometimes, it’s mothers themselves who put a hammer in the works. I, for example, have a tendency to correct my husband every time he takes over some child-rearing task; maybe I should ease up and leave him to it!!

    • I sheepishly admit, so do I 🙂 Now I can recall I would object on every singl thing he would do like if he would throw the toy back to toy box, I would say he would learn too. If he would make ‘the star’ laugh by lightly banging something on his head, I would say you are giving him ideas, and so on and so forth! We should just let them be. He told me why you have to argue about evey single thing I do. And I agreed with him, yes I objected to almost everything! But he is a sport, so all is well 🙂

  • Good write up….I am privileged to have a hands-on hubby who shares the responsibility equally. However from one of your replies to earlier comment I can relate that even I fuss about so many things he does….like he was making faces and I objected, He was dragging a soft toy and wrestling with him & I objected…..you said so correct ‘We should let them be” 🙂

    • I agree 🙂 Though difficult, we have to let them find their own ways and means of communication and fun.

  • A topic that’s really important and of concern.. and definitely need of the hour in today’s hectic life. Even if mum is not working still Dads should play an equal role as a parent.

    • Absolutely Manjulika! Looking after a kid is a tremendously challenging and demanding job, and it is not possible for a mother to do it all alone, neither should she. A father’s role and importance is non-negotiable.
      I am currently a housewife or a stay-at-home-mom. I have outsourced my cooking and cleaning chores to focus on our ‘star’ but still I get worn out by the end of the day, and then my husband takes over after coming back from office. I get that window to relax for a while.

  • This is such a topic which need to be spotted… My husband is quite hands on though but i agree sometimes I nag him too….dont do this…oh my god u know nothing n all.. so i keep telling myself to take it easy!!! the other problem is like I stay with my in laws so I also feel that they sometime feel very surprised when he does something in front of them… n with inlaws they often believe ( unlike yr parents) that their son cant handle it so let them do it… but then guess what..I wasn’t orn as a mother, I also learnt all this when i had a baby…so I guess its the maturity of the elders in the family …because if they point out such things …their sons will feel less awkward and will be able to make a better bond with their babies 🙂

    • I understand Vandana. Eyebrows are also raised by family and friends when the hubby does more than what has been conventionally found. Mothers are expected to figure out their way but people flock to help out poor dads!
      Even I was not a natural mother, we all learn along the way. I would dread everytime our baby would cry, how would I soothe him, I would wonder. Because no matter who was holding him, when he would cry, the baby eventually comes to a mother’s lap and she is expected to KNOW how to soothe him. But my husband never behaved that way even single time. If is aware that the baby was not hungry, he would soothe him on his own 🙂