• Rachna Parmar

    Yes, the fear of losing a parent is very scary. I don’t agree that parents have kids so that they can be taken care of in their old age. No sane parents will have kids for that reason, and you have rightly pointed that it would amount to selfish parenting. Of course, a young child needs a parent much more than a grown person though the loss of a parent is always difficult to cope with at any stage. Children who lose their parents in childhood grow up with real emotional issues that adults might not necessarily have when they lose their old parents.

    • Fab

      Wonderfully expressed!! Yes, there are some fears that are just better left in the dark, where they belong.

  • Wonderful post. I do feel scared of dying before my kids grow up because I believe, pretty foolishly, that no one would understand them as well as I do. My greatest fear, however, is of having my kid kidnapped….that would be a living hell not knowing that state he is in.

    • Hi Roshni,

      You are not foolish! You are a mommy! 🙂 And yes, no one understands your baby as you do. Yes, kidnapping is such a fear that despite having a very trustworthy, stay-at-home-nanny for V, I am scared to let them go to the park without me.

  • Hi Rituparna,
    You’ve written about my greatest fear. I pray every day that I may have the opportunity to be a part of my children’s lives until they are old enough to look after themselves. And then I pray that I may be able to share in their joys and sorrows once they are old enough to take their own decisions and be responsible for others around them. I also pray for my parents that I may have the comfort of their presence in my life for a long, long time.
    I began to fear death only after I became a mother. Before that, I wasn’t so aware of the fragility of life. At least I didn’t give it much thought. But now after having given birth, I am keenly and painfully aware of the possibility of life being taken away. And the very thought is painful.
    I could totally relate to this post.

  • So true!! The day I became a mother I started being scared of death. While the thought of losing a child is just unbearable, my own mortality also became a scary thought. To imagine leaving my child alone without my love and protection sends shivers down my spine. Such an expressive post and truly dark.

  • This post of yours Rituparna echoes my thoughts. Death is inevitable and it shall come sooner or later. But what I don’t want ever to happen is a child growing up without his mother. This thought scares me a lot…

  • Ritu every word hung in the air for a long while and i kept saying to myself”i am not alone”
    i know this is really extreme but i have clearly told G, in case i am not there Keya will be only with him, he is not supposed to remarry and my parents will be staying close to them.
    and you thought you were scared or paranoid !

  • Alok Singh

    excellent post. I have privy to both tragedies you have mentioned and have seen all of you coming out of them. It requires a lot of courage to fight these incidents>
    Congrats again for this post

  • You know how we don’t talk about death? I imagined that I wouldn’t find any readers for this post…that like the Indian mentality of brushing things under the carpet, the topic of death and parenting would remain a touch-me-not. Thank God, I am not the only one going through this! And thank you for sharing this fear with me. Here’s to a long life of love and togetherness for all of us.

  • nicely worded post and like you say many of such thoughts are indeed brushed under the carpet. I totally echo your thoughts ; life is so uncertain and I constantly pray for all the strength and courage both for my kids and myself to face any obstacles & eventualities