The Elephant In the Room Series – Part 1

We are the Gypsy Mamas, two mothers. A mother of two chirpy young girls and a mother of a young boy. We hear questions, see actions and understand their thoughts. This series, ‘The Elephant In The Room’, is an attempt to indirectly touch and impact childhood values and hoping in turn we will all together build a beautiful generation. A generation that is aware and sensitised to as many elements of life as possible. As parents, let us enable this. In this series, we hope to discuss topics like sexuality and private space that make us uncomfortable around our children.

Child is the father of man. And the mother too. But we fail to realise this.

Children are all around us. They play, they are naughty, they make us both happy and sad, and they are natural. Children have no presumptions, no prejudice and neither do they have any plan. They may be butterflies, lions, peacocks or eagles and they love being what they are – until we force them into the world’s rat race. They are not rats, but they still end up being a part of the race. How fair is that?

We wish they was some easy way out with these little ones and their questions. But there is not. And that’s the beauty of parenting. Parenting is a journey of learning and unlearning.

As much as we are mothers, we are also citizens of a country and before all of this, we are women first. And so, it set us thinking. Thinking as to why much of what happens around us happens. Why is it that grown-up individuals act worse than animals at times? What might be leading them to such actions? Why do adults have incorrect ideas about other individuals, their lifestyles, preferences, body and much more?

Somewhere along our conversations and discussions, it dawned upon us that change can only begin at home. With our little ones. We can only touch their lives and impact them before they grow into adults. We started thinking as to why we, parents, find it uncomfortable to talk about certain topics with our children. Is it because we treat them as lesser beings than us? If yes, in what capacity? Thinking? Understanding? Actions? Or is it because we think we understand more than them? If yes, is that right?

We should, as parents, come together and discuss the various issues around the unnavigable topics. The Gypsy Mamas thought they would initiate discussions and thought flows. And thus came about the idea of ‘Elephant In The Room’ series. This is a humble attempt to be a medium for many parents across the globe to express their thoughts. This series will be a combination of surveys or rather findings of surveys, Q and A’s, discussions, and also some insights we have learned first hand as parents to our children.

In the past, may be long ago, there was a support system of well-read , well-intentioned grandparents who thought that bringing up grandchildren to be good humans was their duty. With the changing ways of lives and lifestyle situations, a young child or a teenager cannot talk his mind out without the fear of being judged. Parents have their hands full with many things, but still try to do their best. But sometimes in the rat race , we forget to teach our children to be good humans, innovative thinkers and independent evolvers. All this is becoming more and more important as the future generations evolve. Hence this teeny weeny effort from us to help you and ourselves discover and learn how to do and how not to do things.

Parenting styles may be different and one should never judge the other. The important thing is that we all love our children and want them to do well in life. Not just financially, but physically and emotionally. Let’s be at the other end of our child’s first dialogue about many uncomfortable topics. Let’s talk and look at the elephants in their eyes.

Being humane is probably the best way to be a human! They say it takes a village to raise a child. So, let’s try and be there for each other. Together.

Uma is a mother of a three-year-old boy, and Rashmi has two daughters aged five and one. They were introduced to each other by their husbands who are great friends, and today, they believe their meeting was a moment of serendipity. They share their passion for reading, writing and children. They are both Gemini women, which means they are really four! Motherhood has been a turning point in both their lives, a journey in which they are co-travellers. They hope to enjoy this ride to the fullest, with lots of fun, grace and honesty.