Last week I was at a very formal dinner party where suddenly a 5-year-old kid started crying nonstop, screaming and throwing his fists in the air. Yes, a terrible temper tantrum.
A lot of kids get tantrum-y at some point, and it becomes extremely difficult to manage the angry little red-faced kids every time you say the word ‘No’. It can be a toddler that wants to spend the entire day splashing in the tub, or a 7/8-year-old that won’t get ready to go to school – the high emotional outbursts known as Tantrums are known to us all. And they can be scary too. I mean all the foot stomping, fist throwing, head banging accompanied with loud cries especially when there are people around, can be stressful. But luckily for parents, this is avoidable (to a certain extent, at least)
Here are a few tips on how to deal with those meltdowns.
First thing to remember is that a tantrum, however mild or massive, is aimed at seeking power and attention. The kid wants something and tests his boundaries in his trials to get what he/she wants. They are kids after all, it is also a learning experience for them, as this is for us parents.
The other crucial thing to remember is to not participate in the tantrum. The kid is screaming and creating a scene, and though it is difficult to just let him be at such a time – trust me, it is for the best. The moment you give in to a terrible temper tantrum after once saying no, the child knows that throwing a tantrum and carrying on with it is his sure shot way to get what he wants. Unhealthy, right? So stop reacting at all, just stay aloof and calm.
Which brings us to the next important thing – stay calm during a tantrum. Nothing simmers down an anger fit like a clam reaction. Getting angry or annoyed will only make it worse.
Pay attention to your child. Actually, this should be the most important points of all. Because when you pay attention to the child, and provide her the power and support that she needs, there will rarely be a need for a tantrum.
Be the positive force in your kid’s life. Seriously, parents are heroes for the little ones, why not make it better? Be positive, be nurturing and be forgiving. Teach her to love what she has and to value what she gets.
And yes, give unconditional love. Children, who feel loved and valued, turn out to be great human beings – and a tantrum or two when they were young don’t really matter.
I am sure most of the melt downs can be handled properly, if we parents just put ourselves in those tiny, muddy, cutesy shoes and remember, this too shall pass.
Aditi Mathur was born on Feb the 14th and since then it has all been awkward for her. A strong believer of “Whatever!”, an ex-advertising girl, a once-upon-a-time blogger, an out-of-place Army Wife and a real-life social person, she has now given up everything for her adorable almost-nine-months old daughter Gauri (Um, also for Twitter, actually). Stalk her at http://damonologue.blogspot.com or @adicrazy on Twitter. Or Not. Whatever.