The Paranoia Of A Mother To-be
Being pregzilla for 7 months has changed many things in me. I have started to think like any mother would. Talk about that anxiety, fear and excitement. There were days when I thought why my mother fears for me so much, gives me continuous instructions on what to do, what not to do and other things. But now when I look back, I think about my future. And most certainly my daughter or son would think the same about me. So there are some things which I want to list down when I get paranoid:
Bumpy ride
Pregnant women should walk and get driven on non-bumpy roads. Thanks to our city, this thing stays only in our dreams. You get speed breakers and bumps in each and every million second of your ride. So the fear and panic strikes you badly. I forever go into that mood thinking what will happen to my baby. Is my baby feeling the bumps? Is she or he getting hurt on their growing tummy or arms or tiny head? These things hover in my head and give me panic attacks frequently. So this mother like thought process crawls in and gets infused in my oxygenated and deoxygenated blood. So at every bump and pothole, my heart swings up and down like Y-axis and X-axis. The fear grips me and I think how this surge and soar of my heart will affect the tiny little life that is blossoming day in and day out.
Hot water fascination
I love bathing in hot water. The love for hot water stays strong and steady during all seasons whether it is the piping hot summer or a wintry evening or a cloudy day of rain. But off late as I have heard and read that hot water is not preferable during these days as it does not help the growing fetus in any way, I have gone from the ultra-hot water to the moderately warm one. When the hot water comes and touches my belly, I wriggle like a worm enough to not let it touch my stomach. And so goes the dance leading to a war between me and the solution that dissolves everything.
Am I late for my fast to break?
Being a night owl all these years has to take a break but as they say old habits die hard; sometimes I sit with a book and go on reading past my bedtime. And the situation roars at me when I get late and wake up slightly after my set time. As all mothers think, I too don’t want my baby to starve and grow weak. So I deliberately switch off my lights and pass out and try to get up as early as possible and finish my breakfast on time. And that’s a relief which cannot match anything. The day goes peacefully too after I am early to rise.
Some thoughts are funny, unrealistic and impractical but thoughts are thoughts. We have heard the saying, “We suffer more in our imagination than in reality”, and these are some of my very own fears which I could not evacuate from my brain. Mothers always fear and will keep on fearing about their children and that is what makes her a mother, isn’t it? So I am totally enjoying my motherhood and look forward to more memorable moments and less fears.