• Reminded me of my mom! We all go through our struggles. Nestled in the struggles are deep learnings. Very deep ones at that! It is important to soak into it! My dad introduced me to Gibran when I was very young. But it made such a profound impact on me, that I used to carry the book around.

    “And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”
    And he said:
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
    You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.”

  • I love that quote from Gibran. Life’s lessons have to be learnt and funny enough, I am still learning them

  • Wishing yr son all the best . I so know this feeling. When kids have worked hard, given their best you want them to be successful in their own endeavors .Not for the sake of our ambitions but for them to be happy.
    Its easier to provide for their material needs, cuddle them and run fingers in their unruly hair when they are young ,but its very difficult to reach to them when they are grown ups although we know that they know ,we are there for them.

    • Sometimes knowing is not enough … but we have no choice

  • How true, Ritu.

    • I read something on F.B. today … Life is a box of crayons and you must use all the colours. This is also another colour in the box … another one of life’s lessons

  • Alka

    I can identify with every word and emotion here, Ritu. My son recently joined his first job as a GET . Yes, he surprises me with his confidence and the ability to manage crisis and my heart aches the same way as it did when he was a kid.
    Perhaps children derive strenghth from the fact that we are always there for them, come what may.

    • If we’ve done our job right, kids will be smart and confident to deal with anything. The thing is that the heart still longs to shield them … and that is so wrong!

  • I know I have a long way to go and parent big kids. But as they say, children are always children for parents no matter how old they grow. Many times, I keep wondering, when will the phase come when they don’t need me any more? But I think, we never grow out of it.

    • But they do! They don’t need us – not in the way we’ve been for them always

  • This reminds me of my mom. She always supports and worries for us 3 sisters, alright. She now worries for my daughter too. She says her job as mom just doesn’t end.

  • chattywren

    I am sure it is a tough one – to be there for them and at the same time let them steer their own life. I see my parents still so involved and yet detached in the lives of myself and my brother – it is a difficult act.

    • It is. Kudos to you for appreciating that!

  • And here as new moms we despair in the everyday challenges that a toddler brings forth. I am already anxious about sending him into the outside world (read playschool). Right now atleast he is in front of my eyes 24X7.
    Guess, once a mother, always a mother!

    • Yes … we get so caught up in the role. These little ones change our bloody DNA or something, leave such an imprint on us … we cant be anything else but parents.

  • Roshni

    Oh, will this agony never end?! :/

    • Take it from me – and I am not a very maternal person – it does not!

  • Sunil

    Wishing Karthik all the best….

  • Roz

    I have a grown son and he is going through a lot of problems in his life right now, and I’m trying to be there for him, but, it’s hard, because he gets defensive when I try to reason with him , he tells me so many things that are going on with his work, the people that he works with, he is at a point in his life where he does not know what way to turn. You see he has a drinking problem and it is hurting his life and everything in it…..I have been there to listen to him and give him some advice when he needed it, but, you see the problem is that everyone that he works with also is giving and advising him too…..He is always angry, frustrated, and unhappy about everything….I know he is grown and I can’t help him, I know that ….I’m getting tired of being the sounding board for him and being treated bad because he is having a hard time dealing with the issues at hand….I’m posting this, because i would like to know how i can approach him and still not get in his face, I’m discouraged, frustrated, and don’t know what to do, I feel he is heading for disaster…..My Husband who is my Second Husband has seen and experience with me how he has been and how things are going with my son….He tells me that I shouldn’t keep letting him treat me this way, and that i should just shut him out and let him know that I’m not going to be treated this way anymore, but, i as his mother, can not turn my back on him…..even though, I get upset, my husband gets upset with me when i get into conversations with him on the phone…..I’m at my Wit’s End right now, and what ever advice anyone can give me , will be welcomed…..signing out…..A Mom Concerned!!!

    • Oh dear. I would advise distance. Do not go and jump in. Do not advise and never fight his battle for him. He has to learn to cope. He has to work it out. When he comes for advise, tell him what you feel is right, otherwise keep shut. And never moralise