• Amrita Thavrani

    I agree. Mostly with “Don’t react negatively”. Negative reactions can only make them stubborn, with positive touch sooner or later they understands.

    • Thanks Amrita, yes patience is virtue .. sooner or later they understand ! Some kids are more adamant than others …

  • I love the structure of ur articles 🙂

    • I am glad .. Thank you for leaving a comment!

  • Great advice and I agree that giving toddlers a choice up front so they feel they have some control works well. We like to use re-direction too, which (up to a certain age) has us pointing to a shiny object away from the trouble…sadly, this stops working at some point!

    • Agree Kat, redirection worked like a charm when my daughter was young .. Once her memory power improved, redirection gave way for negotiation !! Thanks for leaving a comment!!

      • Ha ha my world is simpler so far. Redirection helps a lot!

  • rachana sharma

    Thanks for clearing the heads Divya. You successfully showed the other side of a virtue; obedience, which is cherished by almost every parent.
    The day ‘creation’ looks in the eyes of creator and communicate, its time for the creator to acknowledge its individuality and start developing harmonious co-existence with it rather than indulging in power struggles. Once we accept and respect it, we can find better ways of communication and get the things done without imposing ourselves on them as you mentioned by giving options to them….

    • Thanks Rachana!! Glad to read that you echo my sentiments.

  • Good point Divya. Unfortunately we expect our kids to be obedient but forget that they are children who know not what is obedience. We need to accept the fact that they are kids and this is the part of their life when they are going to fully enjoy themselves. However, a little dose of discipline and sweet advice helps them to understand what is expected from them. The biggest turn-off for children is the word “Don’t” .

    I read that the word “Don’t” must always have an alternative word. For example: when we say don’t watch TV. We also need to have an alternative, Let’s play this word game.

  • That’s a very good suggestion!! Thanks Fayaz..!!

  • Hey Divya, somehow I had not read this article. Thanks for re-directing me. And it seems we think alike on obedience issue 🙂
    On one side we expect our kids to become creative, adventurous and risk-takers, with minds of their own; while on the other hand, we slowly curb those attributes. We cannot have laddoos in both hands 🙂
    If somebody asked me what is the single most important thing required for raising children. I would say Patience. And honestly, that is not one of my virtues. But motherhood is teaching me a lot of things.

    • Yep agree … We cannot have laddoos in both hands 😀
      My daughter is teaching me ABCs of Patience. I had zero patience before her!!