In the ninth month of pregnancy, the expectant mother is at the verge of losing her patience and tolerance while the same is with the man too, who has started feeling that his wife has transformed into a moody stranger of late. Both want the delivery to happen soon and be over with it. It is only after the delivery that they realize that the journey has just begun…
The birth of a baby is a test of the love of a couple. When you are suffering from lack of sleep and trying to accustom your ears to constant bawling, it takes a Herculean effort to help your husband find the other sock. If you are a new father dealing with the pressure of trying to handle a tiny human, it can be quite arduous to handle a grown up one too who suddenly seems to get overwhelmed at everything. When this happens, remember- it is important to be a couple as much as being parents!
It is easier said than done but not an impossible task. Follow the simple steps and make it work out for you and your spouse:
1. Love each other and express it!
Many new parents are ridden with guilt after the birth of their child and feel that giving attention to anyone more than the baby, even if it is their partner, is not justified. Get rid of the guilt! Couples who love each other make better parents. Love not only de-stresses you but also makes you feel closer as a family. Lovemaking may take a backseat for a while but love must not! This is the time when your relationship can strengthen or weaken beyond repair. It is all up to you!
2. Steal moments
Though it may not be possible to spare some time to go out for dinners and candle lit evenings with your beau, it is possible to spend ‘we’ time. Make the most of the time when your baby is asleep and spend time with each other. Do an activity together or just sit and talk. Try not to talk about the baby alone. Talk to each other about each other. Hold hands. These moments are important.
3. Maintain your cool
The change that comes in a household with the arrival of a little baby is massive. The layout of your house may change; the routine may get all disrupted; the circadian rhythm may be reversed and emotions may run high – maintain your cool! Make it a point to not react on the spur of the moment. Try to remain patient and calm. Do not point out each other’s mistakes in parenting. You are both learning. Be supportive!
4. Take help
Do not try and be a superhero. If you can, find and take all the help you can! Take help of domestic workers, a nanny, your parents/in-laws or an enthusiastic relative. Be sure that you can trust the person you are leaving your child with though.
5. Give it time!
Trust me, this is a phase too and shall pass soon. Just give it time and try to look at the brighter side of things. The hardships don’t last long and very soon the baby starts following a routine of sorts and the new mom feels and acts normal after getting a good night’s sleep and the new dad learns how to tackle diapers and tiny hands and feet and the little household is full of giggles and gurgles.
If you are a new parent too, congratulations! These teary, nerve-wrecking and absurd moments are what are going to make funny and wacky memories for keeps. Cherish them! Happy parenting!