That First Moment

Every mom-to-be dreams of the moment when she would see her little one for the first time, hold the baby in her arms and give him/her a kiss on forehead. I remember how during each scan, Mr. Hubby and I would try to focus on the baby’s face. However, the changing presentation would most often keep us waiting, for before we could even make some sense of the face, the baby would quickly move, as if saying “Catch me if u can!” Seeing our eagerness, the doctor would laugh and say “Few more months to go my dear and the hide and seek will be over with your baby right there in your arms!”

I did get lucky in my final scan though. Since the baby didn’t have much space to move, we saw him sitting relaxed. It was then that I saw a nose shaped just like mine and with moist eyes, immediately asked my gynaec, “Do I really have to wait for a few more days?” Of course, it was a silly, impulsive request, for I knew it was good for the baby and mother if we completed 40 weeks of the pregnancy.

Throughout my pregnancy, I read many blogs on parenting. Almost all moms described their first moment with their baby as “Overwhelming” with many moms having hugged their baby and cried tears of joy! I had another impression of ‘That First Moment’, thanks to Bollywood. Almost in each movie, moments after delivery, the nurse would hand over a cute little baby and the onscreen mom, overwhelmed with motherhood, would shower her bundle of joy with kisses. Wrapped in a lovely white cloth, looking pretty, pink and angelic – that was the impression of a new born baby I grew up with, for I had never seen a newborn baby up, close and personal!

Lying on the operation table, each passing minute was getting unbearable. I waited eagerly to hear the cries of my baby and see his face. As soon as the doctor announced the time, I was all prepared for That Moment – to hold the cute looking baby wrapped in a white towel!

But, when the doctor finally brought the baby to me, my reaction was totally different from all the scenes I had imagined!

The baby was really small as per my expectations. However, a few things were totally different – wrapped in an olive green cloth (looked so operation theatre types), pale, slimy, eyes closed and crying his lungs out, this was a baby very different from the calm, smiling baby I had expected!

“Oh, the newborn baby looks so small, pale and slimy!” I said and immediately realised my mistake as the junior paediatrician looked at me with a subdued look of disgust. It was only when I told her this was the first time I was seeing a newborn baby and about my impressions of movies that the lady understood and started laughing. “Yes, babies look that way when they are just out!” she said, finally feeling a bit sympathetic at my dumbness.

However, she was soon to drop another bombshell as she said, “Your baby is really hungry, you will have to feed him soon!” Oblivious to the fact that his mom was still undergoing a surgery, my baby was howling, demanding to be fed! As I gave a helpless look, the paediatrician clarified, “Don’t worry, we aren’t asking you to feed him here on the operation table! We just wanted to show you the baby.”

I did experience a strange feeling and moist eyes though, when I kissed his forehead. However, before I could feel anything more, the doctor took him away for examination.

It was only on the way from operation theatre to my room that I felt the motherly instinct overflowing for the first time. As the baby was made to lie next to my chest, I felt goosebumps, a very strange feeling and a lot of pride that this is a part of me, my creation, my carbon copy! It was an emotional moment for my husband too, since he couldn’t just take his eyes off the baby and me! At that very moment, we felt complete as a family!

Shaivi says – Banker by day, blogger by night – that’s me. After a decade of dabbling into hospitality, corporate communications, training, employee engagement and banking, motherhood is the new role that keeps me on my toes! Nothing gives me more happiness than bringing a smile on someone’s face and learning something new each day; and blogging provides me a platform to do that. I blog at Shaivi ka funda. So here I am, to share my experiences as a new mom and get insights from experienced parents.