• Sweety

    Hi Reema,

    This is a very valid post in today times. My kiddo also stays with her grandparents in my absence & thankfully they are not into above things. Yet at certain times, there is a need to define points which i want for the child. For eg , i don’t like my child to eat anything in night after diner is over & she brushed her teeth. But her dadi sometimes offer her things (thinking she is still hungry) & she obliges. The good part is she will always give nutritious food only like a fruit or a dry fruit 🙂 . But i am just fussy that she should not keep on chewing all the time. Although, her grandparents will never make her sit with TV & take her out to buy chips, I have seen many grandparents doing the same in my society. I would like to believe that they do this in their love for the child, but forget that actually these are harmful for the child. There needs to be a clarity between parents & grandparents on how they want to act with the child. Yes, they may fell offended but we need to do this for the future of our child.

  • Sweety, you have articulated perfectly. I am glad your in-laws are aware and responsible, and there is a clarity among you.
    You know, when I was working I never thought about these things. But now when I see such things happening around me, I am glad I am home to personally care for my child. This is the time to form good habits. Of course, in your case, I think you all are in sync 🙂

  • Fab

    I agree, Reema. My in-laws also feed my son frozen foods, packaged juices, biscuits and other junk, but we don’t live with them. As this happens only on visits, I largely ignore them, although I do give subtle hints :-). You’re right, grandparents can get very sensitive about such issues, and it’s very hard for some people to take facts as facts and not as personal criticism. It’s like walking a tightrope!

    • Let me tell you I have got some sarcastic comments when I quote from some books on facts. But it is unsettling for me if my son’s habits or routines are disturbed. You know how crucial it is to form the right ones at an early age.

  • I actually think that the parents of those kids are actually OK with the way their kids are being brought up. They prefer grandparents looking after the kids (in whatever way) compared to leaving kids at playschool/nanny care. And grandparents too are just expected to take care of the kids. These grandparents usually do not have the energy to take care of active kids that they just let the kids do what they want – watch TV, bribe with chocolates etc..

    • You could not be more right! I cannot blame the grandparents. There is only so much they can do. Raising children is the primary responsibility of parents. The total responsibility of how the children are being raised rests on their shoulders. Whether they are present physically or not, they have to ensure that their children are learning good habits and good skills for life.

      • ” Whether they are present physically or not, they have to ensure that their children are learning good habits and good skills for life. ” Agree …

  • Hi,
    I really agree with this post. though I look after my baby my self as i am a working from home mom, his grandparents sneak in food to him whenever I am not around. I have not introduced grains to my 8 month old and here they are feeding him bread and jam.
    it really upsets me but i plan to make sure in the future my child learns that he needs to ask his mom before eating certain stuff.

    • Here I sometimes have tough time to explain why feeding kids biscuits on daily basis is not a good habit to inculcate, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to explain why you would not give bread-jam to your little one! I do not like the high-handedness of ‘we know better because we have done this before’. I am very cautious in what I ‘advise’ other new moms. They may have other (even better) ideas on parenting.

  • I have actually never left my kid in grandparent’s care – but when they do come over they have a tendency to over feed or criticise the food that I give ( read low dairy, no ghee.. Sweets etc. etc.) ! What is one to do – I’m guessing there are vast differences in our understanding and expectations of food & nutrition than what was there in our parents’ generation :/

    • Hey same here. In fact, I have never left my son with anybody else except my husband. Because between us we have everything sorted. I hate getting into long winding explanations about why I would not give him chocolates or biscuits or packaged snacks, or have violent / unrealistic programs on TV when he is around and so on and so forth. My innocent child does not even know the word chocolate yet (yeah, I am a mean that way) 😉