The conversations always touch down on studies, when two mothers get to gossip. And the preposterous assumption was that my daughter will take up the Science group, since I am an Engineer.
“Is your daughter doing well in Science??” “How’s her score in Science??” “If she’s doing well and getting good scores, then she should take up the Science group in her 11th class” – I was baffled.
First, does doing well in Science justify taking up the Science group? This is a career choice and I want my daughter to choose what she wants to do. I didn’t want some body to be telling me what my daughter ought to do.
This mentality among people, who hold on to Engineering or a Medicine career needs a sea change, for they aren’t the only career options available around for children to choose.
For a change, how about thinking on the terms of “Passion”?
What does your child feel passionately about? Drawing? Trekking? Clicking pictures? Story-telling? Cartooning? You can make a career out of it, if the passion is strong enough.
I’ve seen in many households, how parents push their children to attend extra tuition classes for Science and Maths, so that they could take up Engineering in college and live the dream of the parents.
My simple question to them is “What about the dream of that child?”
By the time the boy / girl realizes that this is not what they want to do in life, many precious years would have gone by. And then they feel miserable in the career choice they made, pressurized by parents.
After all, what life is this, if you can’t live it happily?
In today’s world, opportunities are aplenty for anyone who wants to make it successful in life and they need not be Engineers or Doctors. There are Food stylists, Chefs, Photographers, Media specialists, Fashion / Jewellery / Shoe Designers – it’s a huge wide world out there for the creative mind. So, why restrict them to pre-planned robotic lifestyle?
These professions are certainly not bad pay-masters. They are in greater demand now – what with people preferring to wear watches / dresses / bags / shoes / jewellery designed specifically for them. There are a whole lot of people out there who want things to be designed and made uniquely for them.
All the child needs is a passion to perform – whatever course it is. If the passion to do things comes from within, then there is no need to goad the children. They’ll automatically work for their passion and make it a huge success for them.
It’s the parent’s responsibility to identify this passion and help them to shape it. This is possible, only if there is open conversation between the child and the parents. When the parents don’t listen to the child’s suggestions, conversations take a negative turn. As parents, we should never let that happen.
Listening to the child, taking their suggestions in small things around the house, sometimes sheepishly admitting a fault will make a huge difference in their behaviour with us. Make them feel that parents are human too and not some God sent messenger. Help them to understand your point of view but never force your decision on them. Let them come to it on their own, after realizing it.
I think I deviated too much…
What I wanted to say is – My daughter chooses to study subjects of her choice and not mine. I love Computer Science, but she detests it. It’s OK with me. And her career choice is what she is passionate about and not what I like her to be. My daughter’s happiness is more important than anything else.
With the moral values which she has imbibed from us, we trust that she’ll make the best choice. And she also trusts that we’ll guide her well with the choice she’s making.
Do things with a passion
For passion strengthens your faith
It makes you work hard
Then SUCCESS comes knocking!!!
If it’s not the passion for blogging, how do you think so many of us get together on a single platform to write what we feel?
So, let it be… the world has enough Engineers or Doctors! Let’s welcome the new age Young adults who are brimming with variety of ideas to make it their life!
Uma Srinivasan is a mother of two teenagers. While she loves to blog, her daughters help her don hats like Chef / Baker / Parenting Consultant and many more. She manages three blogs, Blog on parenting & every-day conversations, My attempt to fall in love with this city called Chennai and Attempt at sharing my recipes with the world.