Teaching Them To Hurl Abuses

Do we ever cease to give advice to our children? We do it at every opportunity, every crossroad, every twist and turn. But, do we ever teach them to hurl abuses… gaalis, when it should actually be hurled? Quiet the contrary, right?

I was in for a shock, when recently I was almost molested a few yards from my house in my home town of Bengaluru. I don’t know whether it was a good or a bad thing that my 16 year old daughter was there to witness it. Just glad that it was not her.

I and my daughter were returning home from the market on the day of Diwali, when this guy on bicycle went past us making a lewd comment. I just stared after him, not sure of what he might have said or what I may have heard.

Few meters ahead, I saw this guy again. This time his hand was extended. I had shopping bags in my hand and all I could do was to raise my hand and block him. He could only squeeze my arm while his intention was to squeeze my boob. I hurled abuses at him and went after him… shouting and daring him to come back. But, he sped away… the coward he was. They always are.

Not my first experience though.

What my daughter saw was.. that her mom was not afraid. But, very angry. I was so furious that I was waiting for that guy to come back so that I could thrash him.

And, yes I was full of advices for her. The most important one being… never ever to be sacred of perverts like these. Dare them and attack them. Never feel guilty or sorry for yourself… it was not your mistake.

My son, aged 13, was also affected by this. He vowed never to let his mom go out alone after dark. He was literally hovering around whenever I went out. His advice to me – “Mom, carry a dagger with you and stab the men who do these things to you.”

Teaching our daughters martial arts and other self defense skills will be useful. But, when faced with sudden situations like this, it is just pure instinct.

Well, my mom did not teach me gaalis. I learnt it on my own. My daughter too will. But, I urge her to use it freely and boldly on men like these who are nothing but the scum of our society.

Janaki Nagraj is a homemaker and a mother of two teen aged kids. She discovered writing almost two years back and have been blogging since. She also writes poetry. She thinks that blogging has opened up a whole new world for her and with writing she discovered herself.