That little tender vulnerable finger twirling around our firm adult one….
Those twinkling inquisite eyes eagerly wanting to know more of the world, of you….
Our child, our life, a blessing from the Almighty….
So, when did this lovely blessing transform into a conditional expectation?
As life races along, that little bundle of joy becomes our sole reason to live, to love, to survive.
As our child settles down into a new life with us, carefree, careless – we begin weaving dreams around this little entity.
As our growing son/daughter happily lives life for the present, we forsake our unconditional thoughts of parenting and commence living a life in the future.
“If you continue at this pace I think we shall be left all alone in our old age.”
“Who will look after us when we are aging and ailing? “
“If you really love your mother you wouldn’t do this.”
“We are banking on you beta.”
Banking? Looking after? What were we expecting when we prayed for that bundle of joy? A life-time insurance?
Society is cruel. It comes up with tortuous examples of children gone haywire, of throwing out parents when they get old. But then, we cannot generalize. We cannot constantly live in a world of fear. What happened to someone else need not happen to us. And, how much do we really know about the future? How can we base our children’s upbringing expecting them to turn into our caretakers when the time arrives? And when is that time going to arrive? Today, Tomorrow, When? How can we assume that our good values will not have effect in our children’s lives? How can we expect our children to be ever grateful to us in return for all that we have done for them as parents?
Many of us may not admit this but it is indeed a fact that many amongst us do wish so. Maybe, the thought, the desire is imbedded somewhere deep within ready to surface when we are feeling insecure, lost and weak, no longer able to remain independent. Maybe, we might want more of our children in our lives when they need us lesser in their lives.
I see this expectation in many parents. And believe me; it brings more pain than anything else. Because there is a desire, an expectation, there is a possibility of the expectation not getting fulfilled. Because there is the feeling that one’s sacrifice for one’s child cannot and must not go in vain, there is an expectation. And once there is expectation, one can get disappointed too.
This I have learnt in the years that the Almighty has been kind enough to grant me, that blessings, little joys make one more blessed than anything else.
I have realized that I have to make the best of the present, accepting it as life’s gift to me and not worry about a future I may not be alive to see.
I understand that I need to be grateful for life’s little mercies and that includes being happy for all the little joys my child has given me, unconditionally…..
Expectations are a part of human nature but in the long run, blessings and gratitude are what make us content finally…
What do you say?
Shail Raghuvanshi is a freelance journalist, content writer, editor, book reviewer and poet. She has 15 years of writing experience in newspaper, magazine, radio and television. She has worked as a Spoken English Teacher too. She runs a blog for writers called Write Space and blogs at her personal blog Muse N’ Motivation. A daughter, wife, mother and friend, she believes that there is no situation that can’t be made better. Faith, Friendship and Family are what makes her life complete.