Facebook tries hard to be caring. Everytime I visit, it asks me “How are you feeling, Amrita ?”.
Not everyone does that. And thus, it puts me to think, how I am really feeling.
How often do you see this question in someone’s eyes and even more importantly, manage to have some time to sit with that person, holding hands and answer honestly?
Yes, there are times when I take FB’s question seriously, for I hear it seldom. I like being asked, and feel my own feelings. My feelings are reminisces of my solitude. They tell me, I am alive. They tell me, I have work to do. Like the pointer in the weighing scale if it shows too-much happiness or sadness, I have to bring it back to the centre.
One such day, I sat relaxed, looking blankly at the Facebook homepage and realized like state of matter I am typically found in three states. Happy, sad and not-sure. Surprisingly, I also realized that at the end of every feeling there lies my kid. She may or may not be reason, or path but she is surely there waiting at the end.
She is there to absorb my overflowing happiness. She is there throwing arms from back and trickily wipe the reminisces of last night’s tears. She is there in my indecisiveness and my determination. She is there as a matter of fact. She is there like a comma in a sentence, allowing me pause and helping me to move on.
She is my excuse to feel love. She is after all, me in the making. She is my second chance to life. Loving her, I only practice loving myself bit more.
That day I played the “feel-the-feeling” game. I kept playing it, till many days later. This where it leads me to..
So, how are you feeling today?
Amrita Thavrani is a mother to a two year old daughter. Occasionally blogs at amrita.thavrani.com. Say hello to her while strolling at the tweet street @TheSeeSawMother.