Z will be turning 3 tomorrow (26th November), I will wish her on my personal blog, but here I want to pick up something no one warns new parents about. I was told about the ‘Terrible Twos’ and I was all prepared… the 2nd year passed like a breeze for us. Z had her tantrums but they were few.
From the past one month I’m witnessing the Troublesome Threes, and I would like to tell you it is not easy. It is only now that I have heard about “terrible two’s, troublesome three’s, fearsome four’s, fabulous five’s” Here are some things a 3-year-old believes, and you SHOULD NOT question him/her if you aren’t in a mood of a tantrum.
- “I’m independent”
A 3-year-old will want to do everything on their own. Wearing clothes, using scissors, calling dad from mom’s cellphone, combing her hair… every damn thing. Try and stop them and be ready for lots and lots of crying (that is what Z does). I have heard some kids shout, throw themselves on the floor and hurt themselves. I let Z do stuff which won’t harm her, because she learns a lot from being independent.
- “I will do what I want to do”
Well, to a certain extent… Z wears what she wants to; right now she is in a phase where she wants to just wear jeans and t-shirt. She doesn’t believe in tying a ponytail or wearing any sort of hair accessories. She wants to eat what she wants; thankfully I have found a solution for this one… I give her choices and let her make little decisions. This keeps the both of us happy.
- “I will listen to you when I want to”
You might just keep on talking and they won’t pay attention, yeah I know it can get on to your nerves… but if we get angry the situation is going to get worse.
Something I take pride in (yes, I actually do) is I’m able to handle Z’s tantrums comfortably.
- There are things I let her do, but I have these things which I don’t allow at any cost. I’m pretty much consistent when it comes to do’s and don’ts.
- Sticking to a schedule is the best, and believe me kids are happier when they are put on a schedule.
- Lots of love and some more… Zoe has a time out chair, she doesn’t treat it as a punishment… which time-outs shouldn’t be. For me and Z, time-outs are meant for cooling down. Once the time-out is over, Z herself comes and apologizes if she has to and then we hug each other. I do not discuss the reason she got time-out for there and then. I wait for the right time.
- Z and I have a chat everyday and a big part of this conversation is me telling Z what behavior of hers I didn’t like during the day. Then it is Z’s turn and she tells me if Z didn’t like anything I did. After that we discuss how to make things better. Believe me, this is the best part of the day for the both of us.
- Z knows that mom and dad will not agree to everything she says.
- My husband and I are aware Z will do things she sees around herself. We try to set the right example for her, and that for us is a very critical part of parenting.
I have seen some parents get angry and hyper when their kids go through this phase, we should always remember… if we lose our cool, situation will get worse. Having said that, I also believe we should always remember our responsibilities as a parent.
A story-teller, a Communication Trainer, a Parenting Blogger, a wife to her best friend and mum to the most adorable 2-year-old – Zoe. Falak Randerian, plays many roles, her favorite Being Zoe’s Mom. She runs story telling & communication workshop for kids My Little Chatterbox. You can read her personal blog Being Zoe’s Mom and her parenting website which she runs along with her elder sister www.momsters.in.