Parenting Decoded: Grandparents

Aaji, Granny, Patti, Nanna, Grandpa, Thatha, Nani, Dida, Ajoba, Ajja, Dadiji, Dadaji…. different names names but one beautiful relation that defines unconditional love. I often wonder if there is a reason they are called ‘grand’parents. Probably the magical bond and excellent rapport they share with little ones explains it. As kids, we loved the special attention we got from our grandparents and today it is a pleasure to see our parents showering their love on our children. Well, sometimes they do drive us up the wall by breaking the rules we set. As someone rightly said “The minute grandparents walk in the door, discipline goes out of the window” 🙂
Having said that grandparents matter a lot while growing up. In this week’s Parenting Decoded we bring together various perspectives on grandparents and ‘grandparenting’ from parents of our community.

1. The inexplicable bond
Some of us have had the opportunity of growing up with grandparents. Narayani Karthik is glad that her son is lucky to have the privilege that she never had, She narrates her experience of how the love for his grandson gave her father-in-law the strength to fight his illness. Falak also doesn’t have many memories of spending time with her grandparents. But witnessing her daughter Zoe get pampered by her grandparents more than makes up for it.

2. Down memory lane
One thing children look forward to when visiting grandparents is the endless pampering. Be it in small gestures or big gifts. Shruti Garodia takes a trip down memory lane and reminisces the lovely days she spent in the company of her Nana and Nani.

3. Caring for grandparents
Today, grandparents are the most common alternate arrangement for day care. And they let their lives revolve around the little ones without complaining. Sunita Rajwade reminds these grandparents to also take time out to look after themselves once in a while.

Everything that goes around comes around. This is especially true with respect to how you treat the people around you. From little ones, elders, partner- believe it or not, your children are learning by example. Priyanka puts across a valid point when she asks if we really have any time for grandparents today? Moushumi’s post corroborates the point by emphasising on having a close-knit relationship with your child’s grandparents.

4. Grandparents to the rescue!
Holding a wailing new-born in your arms and not knowing how to calm her can be a terrifying experience. More so, if the newborn is your own. You know you are responsible for its well-being and security. Imagine if you are clueless about what to expect next in such a situation. Sirisha tells us how this is exactly where grandparents step in and the parents heave a huge sigh of relief.

5. Way too much pampering?
Some of us might think that excessive indulgence of grandparents spoil children irreversibly. On the other hand, if the parents are strict disciplinarian then the pampering is must to strike the right balance. Jairam Mohan writes about how the combination of being an only child with working parents and overindulgent grandparents can turn against the child.

6. The grand-effect?
Returning from a long vacation at the grandparents can have severe after effects. Both for the parents and the child. The warm feeling lingers even after you have unpacked and immersed yourself in your daily routine. Monishikha’s list of the symptoms of grandparent-effect will leave you with a smile.

7. Walking the tightrope
When it comes to disciplining, parents are very particular about their child abiding by the rules laid down by them. But what happens when grandparenting interferes with parenting? Shail Raghuvanshi asks what a parent is supposed to do in such a situation.

8. A working mother’s dilemma
Can a working mother leave her child behind to be raised by his grandparents in another city? Sure, why not? Many mothers do it in the best interest of their children. Read Rituparna’s confession about being selfish about raising her son when it comes to leaving him with his grandparents.

9. From one granny to another
Last but not the least, Sunita a proud grandmom who looks after her grandchildren full-time has valuable tips for new grandmothers. She shares pearls of wisdom from her first hand experiences on being a grandmother.
Sunita writes on how her life has changed after becoming a grandparent. Also read her lovely post on why every grandparent who looks after their grandchildren should treat is as a second chance offered by life.

Were you among the lucky ones to have grandparents around in your childhood? Or did you longingly wait for their annual visits? Tell us, we would love to know.