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Making Shy Kids Confident

Sometimes we feel so awkward when our kids are too shy in front of the crowd. Being intelligent yet shy affects our kids in the classroom as well as getting acknowledged among their peers. I was worried when my daughter was shy in her foundation class, the only complaint I had then.


But, the truth is she was exhibiting her parent’s traits. I was an introvert during my school days and had my own small circle of friends with whom I shared all my feelings. My hubby too was someone who was a reserved type. We were completely fine with that and we did not face any complaints. But, after becoming a parent I came to learn that staying the same way doesn’t help my children in any way especially in an environment where social conversations played an important part of growing up.

This is where I began to move out socially, picking up conversations that came my way just to make my kids learn from me. And I am happy with my kids now as I can notice that their confidence level was growing and they have started exhibiting some extrovert traits. And if you are a parent who looks for ways to help your child become more confident, let me share some of the ways I have been practicing and still doing,

  • Open up the conversation with your children about their school, their friends, etc. whenever you can. This can be done in the night time when you are making your kids to sleep in-between or after their bedtime story.
  • Encourage them to help you with little tasks like picking up the ringing mobile phone and answer the other end. Example: If you are busy in the kitchen, ask your kids to answer the phone noting down who was calling and telling them that their Mom is busy in the kitchen and she has told that she will call them back.
  • Outside the home let the kids help you with the shopping asking the shopkeeper what they want and paying them. Don’t overdo it making the shopkeeper annoyed. Make sure that you had given the correct change to your kid. Similarly, you can do the same in any social environment by taking your kids to important places like banks, parties, friend’s house, etc.
  • Encourage the kids to participate in extracurricular activities both in school and at home. If they back off, ask them to try it for a few days and check their comfortability level. If you find that they can be fine as days pass, then keep encouraging them else find their source of interest. You can take them to workshops in your area where you can also spend the time along with your kid as they have fun.
  • With the opportunities available both in online or offline, make your child to participate in competitions with an open mind. Talk about participating more and never degrade them if they don’t win. By doing so, you will make them understand that failures are just a part of something, a process of trying and it is not the end.
  • Finally, make time or create some time for your kids so that they talk to you. Let them sing, shout or do the talking. And you stay a listener.

Though the process is slow and time consuming, the final results will be remarkable. Before long you will see that your child has become self-confident, self-reliant and independent, the traits that you were looking for. Good Luck!

Uma Maheswari Anandane is a mother of two kids, an Engineer by Education and a poet by passion. She pampers her thoughts through blogging at MomScribe, Rhythmus and Pondicherry Wiki. Sometimes, she goes to any extent to know about the impossible reading about stars and fourth dimensions to quench her curious mind. She had the privilege to author two eBooks on poetry, one at amazon and the other making itself to big portals like iTunes, Sony and Barnes &Nobles. Whenever time permits, she also writes articles for websites and other small scale magazines.