They say parenting is a learning process. And what’s learning without some fun? Most people would agree, except parents of a toddler (hand raised). Just as you’ve enjoyed the gurgling and babbling of your bundle of joy, you are bombed with the toddler years that are packed with inevitable panic.
Here is a list of signs that you have been living with a toddler that I have so far been experiencing with my almost 2-year old. Just as a reminder of the terror you might be/have experiencing/ed already. (Evil laugh)
- You know 106 versions of Baa-Baa Black Sheep. By heart.
- Your phone is devoid of any space, thanks to the countless nursery rhymes videos saved.
- You know the Hot-Dog Song from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so well, you can sing and perform it perfectly even in your sleep.
- Your mobile phone doubles up as a pocha (washcloth) to clean the floor.
- Your sofa set crevices have candy, straws, crayons and what not stuffed in them.
- The moment you sit to have your breakfast/lunch/dinner/tea/snacks, your kiddo will want to go potty.
- Your toddler’s ‘NO’ can mean “not now”, “never”, “yes”, “give it to me” or “it’s mine”.
- The day you are most exhausted is when your toddler decides to stay up all night.
- The day you plan to wake up early, is when your toddler is sound asleep.
- Each of your bread slices/idlis/parathas have one bite on them.
- You call your husband Daddy, your mom Naani, your friend Aunty in first person and while summoning them, just so that your toddler gets it right.
- The time you forget putting the diaper on, is the time they decide to poop.
- You throw vexed glances at people who directly gift your toddler chocolates and sticky sweets without your consent.
- Your toddler’s Candy Crush Soda Saga scores are most probably higher than yours.
- You’ve lost the number of times you’ve stepped on some building blocks, crayons or toy parts.
- It’s more often than not that your toddler wakes you in the morning than the other way around.
- Trying to let a hairclip/hairband/hat stay in/on your toddler’s hair beyond 2.09 seconds is just next to impossible.
- The sofa has been peed and pooed on so many times, you’ve just lost count. You sit anyway.
- You can comprehend even the most foreign words that your toddler blabs out.
- You’ve mastered getting out of your sleeping toddler’s room without making the slightest noise. A skill that would put Tom Cruise’s aerial theatrics in Mission Impossible to shame!
- You’ve become a master Shhh-er.
- Silence is NOT golden with a toddler around. You grow fairly suspicious when your toddler is silent.
- Whatever is in your toddler’s hand automatically becomes his/her. Toddler Property Laws you see.
- Conversations like: Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, etc. is perfectly normal.
- No matter how many times you keep your footwear away from your toddler, they will always find it and wear it…on their hands.
- You’ve never had your tea/coffee/any other beverage while it’s still warm.
- You research preschools every day.
- Your brand new expensive designer bag/purse that was once used to carry only makeup and money now bursting at the seams with diapers, baby wipes, emergency medication, favourite Chhota Bheem plush doll, water bottle, milk bottle, extra dress, extra shoes and extra diaper. All this for a trip to the doctor.
- No matter what the topic of discussion with anyone, you always end up talking about your toddler’s frequency of falling ill. Eventually, it is mutually blamed on the ‘weather change’.
Sound familiar? So which of these could you relate to? Do share in the comments section!
Mom to a toddler, Gauri Kamath is an avid reader, writer and pens her thoughts on her blog Survival of the Optimist. Though she holds a Masters degree in Marketing, her true passion is writing and has co-authored a book on short stories – 6 Degrees. She is based in Mumbai.