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Moulding Of Wet Clay

The morning papers are all flooded with lots of bad news and very little good news. Every day we have main stories and columns running over with negative news. Ever thought about how this news impacts our young minds? The other day my son asked me the meaning of a terror attack and in a very basic way I tried to explain him what is the meaning of terrorism. At the end of it he asked me a very innocent question- “Mumma, does something like this really happen in our world?” His gentle and innocent words of concern touched my heart and I was surprised that such a small kid had such an innocent picture of his world.

Kids’ world is so unique, so colourful, so unbiased and more over, so untouched by the negative aspects of life. For them it’s study, play with best buddies and have only these basic sentiments prevailing – love, respect for the other one and lastly, innocence.

Childhood is an absorbing stage of life. A very impactful incident can cause a lasting impression on the mind of the child. Any incident, be it a very casual one, can be interpreted differently by the curious mind. It is for us as parents to ensure that we do the quality check of their thoughts. Any criminal, when he/she commits a crime, does not turn into a criminal overnight. There is a progression, a progression which starts from childhood and ends and grows to adulthood.

The social system too plays an important role in the child’s upbringing but ultimately it can only be arrested if the parents are alert and act promptly. As educated parents, we choose to bring up our children with utmost care and affection and we see to it that we offer them the best of education. It all begins at home. That’s why, it is important to be an alert parent /grandparent and take care of the child’s thought process.

When my son joined playschool, he had a huge issue in going to school every day. The horrible sessions at the beginning of the class when the teacher used to persuade him to enter the class would make it difficult for my in laws to see him go crying. But a simple pep up given by his grandfather saying, “You get in the class, I am sitting right outside your class waiting for you to finish”. This gave my son a different enthusiasm to attend the school every day. Just one pep talk by his grandfather and my son was enthusiastic to go to school every day.

In the parent teacher monthly meet, the playschool head suggested that each parent should take some time out in the night and have some pillow talk with the child. The idea was to build a bridge of trust between the parent and the child. I tried it with my son and there he was, all ready for the night sessions with a whole lot of stories of the day. Just a perfect end of the day before we curled up for sleep. Even today, when my son and I are in great spirits, we rest back and he shares all those small and big thoughts that crossed over his tender mind during the day.

The resistance of going to play school, the separation from the parents and being among teachers who were strangers for two long hours was hard for my two year old buddy. But those comforting words from his granddad and the end of the day session with his mom-dad laid the foundation of a relationship. This has built up trust between the child and the elders. Today he trusts us the most and shares everything what he feels about. Then we as parents try to give him a correct version of his thoughts. In some instances it is very hard to convince the child but guess that’s the true test of being a parent.

When children know that their parents are all ears for them, they tend to share everything by default even when they grow of age, till the time they are capable to judge by themselves the wrong or right of everything. I know today what my son thinks and I also know that I am there as a checkpoint for him to not wander with his thoughts and actions. Trust, respect for others, truthfulness and being benevolent to others are some values which go a long way.

The child’s mind is very much like a bundle of thoughts, it may have some good and bad thoughts, it may also have some very tempting thoughts or it may want to experiment with some things which they would not know the consequences of. But as parents we should ensure that we shape this up. There is something called a family value system – a very strong thought which I believe in.

My family value system teaches me to respect the other person be it of any age or social status or of any gender but first comes respect. Our children should be made aware of this family value system; it can be anything positive which can cause an impact in the life of the other person or to the society as a whole. Believing and listening to the inner conscience and trusting it the most, taming the monkey mind in such a way that we cannot go wrong at any point of time are some things which can be taught to children at an early stage.

If we as parents try to build up these soft edges of our child’s minds it will only bring them up to be the best human beings and in turn they will be contributing their bit of goodness to the society as a whole. Teach your child these values, I am sure our children are very capable of surprising us with these values and making us feel proud one day. It has to be an incessant effort from our end and our job is done for the rest of our lives. I have started my responsibility of teaching my children these good things and I know I am performing my bit of responsibility to the society. What about you?

Moushumi says- After 12 years of banking experience, I chose to take a sabbatical for my kids and be an enterprising mother. I am a Bachelor in Commerce, Masters in Finance Management and done diploma in creative writing .Writing is my passion and wish to develop it further. My husband is my inspiration to all my aspirations. I am a mother of two sons, my elder being 6 yrs old and younger about 1 month old . I love travelling and writing about places visited and every thought that fascinates me. All this can be read in my blog Life Bytes.