So, I think. I always think. What lessons am I imparting to my daughter? Motherhood has been a great teacher. I have been unlearning some old lessons and learning a few new. I have found answers to some old questions, while I seem to have discovered a new queries.
I ask myself. What do I want her to grow up to be? Successful? Ambitious? Rich? Sensible? Kind-hearted? Yes, I want her to be all of it. It would be great! But most importantly, I want her to be a Goddess of small things. I want her to be capable of discovering happiness in small things. Yes, that is the most important lesson I want her to learn.
I want her to know that only she is capable of figuring out her happiness. I want her to know that happiness does not arrive by luck, but by choice.
I have learnt that in life, we spend way too much time searching for happiness. In an attempt to be happy. We move places, jobs and people searching for that miraculous source of happiness. We spend hours trying to earn money to therefore be happy. We save money so that we can take care of ourselves when bad health arrives. So, why not take care upfront?? I don’t know that yet!
So, my point is that my daughter must understand that to be happy, all that one needs is a heart and mind ready to be happy. I wish and pray I can truly get across this simple thought through to her. I want her to understand that happiness is not dependent on the money in her wallet or the job she does, but how she feels about life beyond all of this.
We always teach our children to be successful. But do we impart them the knowledge about how to measure this success? I want my child to know that success is measured by happiness. I want to tell her, please do not measure happiness by quantity, but the quality of your life. Today, when she cries for a pink school bag, we tell her pick the grey one maybe. Pink one’s cost is simply crazy! She says, I like pink – so I need pink bag. And we say, grey has a beauty of its own. And the grey one has a huge strawberry on it; it is so pretty! And she accepts. And she is happy taking that bag to school everyday. The idea was not to impose our idea on her, but to help her discover happiness in something she did not think she could.
There is this quote, I have read multiple times. Said by someone we all look upon. Mother Teresa. It goes like this:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
The idea is not to strive to be another Mother Teresa. But a beautiful human being. And a happy one. What the above lines say isn’t all that easy to live by. One cannot really seek to learn how to live those lines. These lines can only be habits. Habits I hope my little Goddess develops. And I will help her develop them because I want to see her happy.
For, it will never be between her and the society. But between her and the mirror. Always.
A four-year-old mother. Been around for 3-plus decades. Learning new lessons and unlearning a few old ones. I try and find happiness in small things. I dream. I laugh. I cry. I hear. And I try and do. Life is all about love, laughter and light for me.