It is strange how a lot of things which take much of my mind space right now, never mattered so much before motherhood happened to me.
Here are the 5 lessons I learnt:
1. Life’s everyday moments are much more special, than the special occasions: The other day, when I went to bed at night, both the dad and the toddler were already fast asleep. Since I wasn’t too sleepy, I just looked at them, the two amazing people in my life. That moment I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for just having them around. I don’t remember being overwhelmed like that by any gift ever, no matter how thoughtful.
There is immense joy in everyday moments – when the toddler drifts to sleep [while on my shoulder] singing ABCDEFG, when the husband makes me a cup of tea while we play Scrabble late at night, when the toddler gets giggly chasing sparrows, when the husband never forgets to ring me up as soon as he drops the little one at school to tell me how it went; the list is endless and yet each one is so special.
2. Life is not a race: When I quit my job [even before I discovered my pregnancy], many people tried to convince me that I was not being realistic about stalling my career progress, and that I would regret it later. Honestly, I was slightly doubtful too but I wanted to go for it over regretting about not doing it, for the rest of my life. Now, exactly 3 years later, I think absolutely nothing about could-have-been salaries and opportunities. In fact, I am extremely proud of my decision of letting it go. It can be very liberating and empowering when you take your own decisions.
3. Started questioning my beliefs or things I had taken for granted earlier: Why should I keep fasts for my husband [how is that a measure of my love for him]? Why do people spend so much time in bitching about bosses, common friends, relatives and consequently spread negativity around them? Why I need a bigger home? Why a new dress or a new book will make me feel better? Why I must not repeat my clothes in social occasions? You get the drift?
4. Pursuit of a simple life: My office used to be next to Shoppers’ Stop, which also had Café Coffee Day and Crossword outlets. It was a deadly combination, I tell you. I used to spend so many of my lunch hours and after-office hours there, and used to shop so much from there that my colleagues would jokingly call me their key customer. Our irony is that we shop all the time and yet never have anything to wear. The truth is shopping can never be a therapy. Consumerism is selling that concept to us.
Same goes for kids’ stuff. Kids don’t really need too many toys or clothes or other fancy stuff. We think that they do. They just need stimulating environment. They surprise us with their imagination if given sufficient free play.
A simple life is worth pursuing. I am taking one step at a time.
5. I can make a difference: The things I choose to do or not do can consequently have impact on the society and the environment. There are two things important for me: how I raise my child and how I behave as an individual. How I do things today will have implications on the future of this world and my son. Each small step counts. Every person counts.
I knew motherhood would be overwhelming but not in this way. And I mean it in a good way.
Reema Sahay is a Stay-At-Home-Mom, Freelance Writer, Voracious Reader, Passionate Blogger, Social Media Enthusiast, Internet Junkie and Ex-Marketing Communication Professional. She spends her days running after her very curious toddler, ‘the star’, and catching up on books when he naps. She writes about charms and challenges of life at Pen Paper and shares her passion for books at Recommend Books. She sometimes feels that her 5.5 years stint in Marketing Communication was in another life.