• Roshni

    That’s a great topic to bring up, Meena!! My dad did not perform ‘Kanya Daan’ simply for this reason. He said he was not giving away some kind of property so the question of ‘daan’ just did not come up!
    So glad your daughter has you to explain things and fight for her!!

    • Wow!! Your Dad certainly is much ahead of his times! I think I will do the same thing! Thank you Roshni!

  • Fab

    There are quite a few rituals in our culture that differentiate a lot between women and men, the chief premise being that women are ‘owned’ by their husbands or fathers. It is up to mothers like you and me to bring up brave young minds who wont stand up to anything discriminatory – doesn’t matter how many centuries it’s been followed for. Great job in making your daughter understand!! .

    • Precisely Fabida! And its not oly our daughters – our sons too get caught in the trap of being the ‘provider in old age’ syndrome! In short, we are a really selfish breed aren’t we?

  • my personal view is that we (girls) live a different life till our marriage .Pre-marriage we live in a secure environment of equality but with marriage the real world comes into existence and husband first becomes the motto.
    Yes how hard you try to save your daughters but one day they become part of the system and like you they will also accept,understand and adjust with the new world of inequality:)

    • Manjery, thank you. Yes, I agree. Why do we allow that?

  • Great subject for a post, and well expressed, Meena. Hindi movies are also to blame. They romanticise the Kanya daan business so effectively women actually look forward to the transfer of the property.

    • Thank you Cynthia. The Hindi movies, the degerative serials….. where does it end?

  • It is in the questions that your daughter asks, that the future of change rests. Brilliant ! Our societies have to change with the times. Rituals emerge and coalesce with the changes in society.

    Children are truly harbingers of such change. Super post

    • Thank you Kavi. I certainly hope there are changes that seep into the amjority of the population. Because right now, any change is only peripheral, and the core of the society is still staggeringly backward.

  • Chitra Santosh

    You have nailed it ma’am. My mom ended up being taunted when she raised her kids without any different rules. People even went up to her and said that, I will end up being wayward. And I would like to believe I turned out just ok. In your earlier blog in which you said how girls are taught to behave in a certain way and how boys aren’t, which leads to warped mentalities. Someone said to me that rapes happen because say these days women do what men do and they don’t lead a docile life. To which I couldn’t help but roll my eyeballs till they threatened to drop out. So much for equality. So when I quoted your blog, she said see that won’t work in our country. (Whaaat?) But it is a relief to see that there are people who still stick to doing the right thing no matter what. Great going ma’am, your kids sure are blessed.

    • Thanks Chitra …. and sigh!!! The truth is, that its going to be a while before the wierd rituals end.