Parenting is a joint responsibility and nowadays it is not uncommon to hear expecting parents say “We are pregnant / expecting”, unlike the earlier days when it was the mother who would say, “I am pregnant” while the father will try to cling for a few more months on his boyish ways. Remember, Hugh Grant in the movie Nine months?
But even with all the New Age, improved metro sexual fathers claiming to be 50% partners in all the things in parenting, let us be honest, it is the mother who bears more than 90% of all parenting responsibilities.
Rather than commenting about what happens in general in other families, I want to use Parentous and this post to thank my 90% partner in parenting- my dear wife. I will not talk about the career she sacrificed for being a SAHM as I moved cities for my career; I will talk about a few very simple things that when I look back has made life so much easier and memorable for both of us and kids. Hundreds of times she has played the role of both mother and father, when I was not around either due to my office meetings or travels or I wanted to have one more boy’s night out with the old gang.
I still remember we were planning the fifth birthday of our elder daughter and she had planned a get-together of friends and family. I was in US during that time, scheduled to come back home just about a week before the birthday to take care of everything. Guess what? My trip got extended and I had to miss the birthday, but she took care of everything in that one week. The birthday was celebrated without any hitch. She even recorded everything for me to see it later with misty eyes.
I am normally sitting without a clue in the Kids Parent Teacher Meeting, while she is actively participating in all the discussions, asking questions to the teachers, exchanging numbers with other moms to get homework details, when our daughter misses school due to some reason. (This one you cannot blame me, I don’t think it will look good – me exchanging phone numbers with our daughter’s friend’s mothers!).
Now, most of the examples I am giving may appear to be pretty clichéd, but the fact is, she has this mindset – to be in absolute control as far as kids and their upbringing goes. When the matters related to kids goes she is very clear “Mother knows best”.
What sports the kids will play, what dance the girls will learn, what third language the elder one will study in school, all these are decided by their mother. In every family over a period of time, equilibrium develops that is acceptable to all without anybody formally agreeing to it. I think we reached this stage fairly early in our parenthood with me conceding the pole position to the Missus.
I am actually pretty happy about the arrangements – we do not argue about kids in front of kids, the kids are not confused about whom to listen, and there is no playing favourites in the family. So the system has its own advantages. Would I like to reverse roles? I don’t think so; I do not think any father is capable of playing the role of mother. What about vice-versa? Well not just in our family in almost every family most mothers play a double role, mostly of mother but every now and then they play the role of father also, with such finesse that nobody even notices; and that is the beauty and strength of being a mother.
Let me close this post by saying thanks to my wife and the mother of our daughters to be such a wonderful mother and whenever there is a need, being their father also. I may be the one peddling gyan on Parentous about parenting, but you my dear are the real pillar of strength in this family and the real inspiration behind almost every single post I have written here.
Sasha and Prasad Np are proud parents of 2 girls whom they fondly call Princess and Pinkette. He wears many hats after taking a break from being corner office critter for a long time. He is now an entrepreneur, blogger, photographer, traveler and a potential investor in start-ups with unique concepts especially if they are in travel related business. He blogs at Desi Traveler, and can be reached at Facebook and Twitter.