Your side of grass as well as mine

Hey Mom,

I have never written letters to you so umm this is bit weird for both of us. It’s not that I never felt the need; it is more about me considering this as a futile activity. Now don’t ask me why, you know it very well! If after asking, telling, explaining and arguing for hours, I wasn’t able to get my point across then what can a letter do? Yes, I know that everything that you do and say is for my own good but Maa, listen to my viewpoint as well. No, this is not a complaint letter. This letter shows you my side of grass which according to you is always greener. Now that we are cool on that, should I speak, I mean write?

Your side of grass as well as mine by Shatru Ladli

I understand that you have many people to answer like Pa, relatives, grandparents, your friends, society and those four people who have no work other than observing me and talking about me. (Yes, I am talking about your regular taunt, “Haye haye, char log dekhenge toh kya kahenge”.) Likewise, even I have an audience to answer, say like my friends, their friends, colleagues, boss, that special friend, friends and some more friends. I can’t always give them an excuse of not being well while I cancel the plan every time! I can’t possibly announce to my date that I need to be home by 10 PM (Yes, I go on dates. Now, don’t get your BP high, I am not running away with anyone.) C’mon Maa, we stay in a Metro that is relatively safe and is known for not sleeping at all. You can’t possibly expect me to be at home when the night hasn’t even started. Here, the party is just warming up and I am all set to leave because I don’t want to disappoint you. See, I do that all the time. You should be happy to have such a dutiful child and in return relax the deadline once in a while.

I have male friends. When I say friends, they are ‘friends’ and not something else. I share everything about all my friends with you (except for some minor details that is okay to not share but trust me that are chotu details. Like really!) Thus, you don’t have to go all CBI on me, the moment I take my male friend’s call. I have nearly the same equation with them as you have with the Uncles in the society (Not exactly, but yeah somewhat there. Okay, I do flirt around unlike you, but then this is my age to do so!) And please, stop giving me that silent treatment over trivial matters. It is so not Mummy-like behavior (Umm, maybe it is, but then you are my Maa. It doesn’t suit you! ) These are just some of the issues for now. Trust me there is a huge list!

I am in my 20’s now Ma, at my age you were married! I know I am still a baby to you but not to the world. I like that you baby me, but it is time that I have the right to take decisions as well. You know, I have never aliened you, for Ma, you are my star! I understand that you worry about me. Every single tear in my eye, sign of stress on my face, every second that I am late, worries you. I know I am your world. I know you can’t sleep till the time I don’t. You want me to be safe and happy always but it is the same with me, Maa. My grass is the same. You are my world as well. I worry about you as well. Every extra work that you take up, late meal that you have, moment that you are low, affects me as well. You are my first and last role model. I hate fighting with you. I want to keep you happy all the time. However, if I have a viewpoint, you have another and we are always at loggerheads, none of us are going to be happy. You have a society to answer just as I have mine. I don’t want us to keep on fighting and hurting each other always (The fighting bit is not really going to change, but the hurting bit, yes please!)

How about we strike a deal? How about we reduce this gap and be answerable to each other only? I don’t know if it will work but atleast we can try. Can we?

Think about it while you make yummy dinner tonight and I promise I will come home early.


Your Love,

Shatru Ladli

Shatru Ladli is her mum’s enemy i.e Shatru as well as her beloved i.e Ladli. (Psst this is my pet name kept by her among the 10,000 other awesome yet embarrassing pet names) 

  • 🙂 Lovely post! You just spoke for most women in their twenties. I am sure almost everyone has had this conversation – either face to face or in their own heads with their Moms. Hugs! Do write more!

    Happy Day to you!

    • Shatru Ladli

      Thanks Vidya! Thanks for your love 🙂 I am happy that I was able to speak for my generation to my mommy as well as other lovely mommies 🙂

    • Shatru Ladli

      Thank you 🙂 I am happy I could speak for my age and many others of the same age. I will try to bring out more such letters.

      Wish you a happy day as well 🙂

  • Am sure every woman can relate to this letter! All mothers are just the same… always concerned, always protective and always worrying over everything and anything!! 🙂

    • Shatru Ladli

      No doubt about that! I am just concerned if I will also be like that when I reach the other side of the grass. *prays*

  • Divya

    Enjoyed reading your post.
    Just to tell you about how being a parent changes the equation ..

    My husband, before our marriage, would drop me home back close to 12AM. And he tells me now that he wouldn’t allow his daughter to stay out after 7PM.

    • Shatru Ladli

      Hahahaha weird, how equations change!

      And thank you for your love for the post. 🙂

  • Ahh..brought back memories of my Mom! Would you be sharing this letter with your Mom then? She may actually see some of your perspective you know 🙂

    • Shatru Ladli

      Well, I am planning to share it with my Maa. Though, I already know her answer, “When you are in my role, then you will understand. Uske pehle bass bolte raho” LOL

  • Wow! Your mom will love this 🙂 And what a brilliant idea to get a kid’s narrative on Parentous! Just the thing that we needed..:)

    • Shatru Ladli

      Hehehe Thank you 🙂

  • Rachna Parmar

    Enjoyed the post and could relate to it as well. Mom and daughter relationship is just like this.

    • Shatru Ladli

      Rachana, you make me happy 🙂

  • Wow! What a letter!! Just perfect for any teenager. Now waiting to see the Mom’s reply as well 🙂

    • Shatru Ladli

      Errmmm My Maa would reply back with one answer – “You want dinner or no? Stop nautanki giri” :-/

  • Such a cute post! And, great to have an adult kid’s perspective!! Haven’t we all gone through this in our teens and twenties?!!

    • Shatru Ladli

      Thank you Roshni 🙂

  • tht’s a sweet post and I can almost visualise my daughter growing up in a few years and spouting these lines. and yes I have mouthed so many of your concerns t0 my mom (gee) guess it’s a vicious (?!) circle

    • Shatru Ladli

      Thank you Priya 🙂 I guess it is indeed a vicious circle but I hope your daughter has it better than you did 🙂

  • While reading the post….one thing that kept flashing in my mind that this would be my daughter’s version someday and I am dead sure she would write something similar to me after couple of decades!! LOL…yeah my daughter is barely a year old now 😀
    Lovely post…strangely I had the same thoughts a decade back as you mentioned in this post…..But you see now I am on the other side of the grass 🙂

    • Shatru Ladli

      Hahahah thanks N 🙂 However, now that you have had the experience of my side and ventured on the other side of grass, hope your daughter has it better than me 🙂