Skip to content
Thursday, June 30, 2022
Latest:
  • Interview With Surbhi Mahobia
  • Interview With Keyur Seta
  • 6 Time Management Tips For Stay-At-Home Moms
  • Interview With Manas Mukul
  • Interview With Deepa Gandhi

Parentous

Fastest Growing Parenting Community in India

Audible Trial

  • What is Parentous?
  • Contributors
  • Contact Us
Psychological & Social Issues 

Leaving My Own Trail

August 8, 2013August 9, 2013 Parentous 1 Comment

Parenting a child has always been a tale of some wondrous stories and some dolor savoir-faire.

Leaving My Own Trail - Upbringing A Child - Inherent Qualities Of Child

Indians have learned things the harder way. The basic concept of upbringing a child in the shadow of one’s own personality is the first step in suppressing the very inherent and visceral quality of the child. As a child takes birth, we unfailingly start the very concept of matching his or her finer qualities with either the “parents” or the “dada” or the “mama” and the list goes on (genes becomes the top most determining factor) till he or she starts a little of his bemusing mannerism which is his own.

As the child starts developing his very own distinctive traits which is an innate virtue of his being, he is repeatedly being compared. The little soul begins to decipher that he is one of them shedding his own traits. Many a times deliberately imitating the person with whom he has been compared.

This is an initial sign of the child losing his character and being veiled by another personality. The very obvious things which the child might have done on its own are masked away and he or she starts adhering and emulating the role model.

We are generally quite accustomed with phrases like “oh! Your child is an absolute replica of his Nani or Dada or sister or mummy and papa” he must have just struggled to open his eyes a day before but their love and affection or their ego has already cloaked their real understanding.

Father might come with a chuckle on his face and declare “oh! Look at those fingers, just like mine.” (baby has his fists closed) well the mother still recuperating from her post pregnancy syndrome might propel and vow with a sigh “but look at the cheek bones, just my reflection” leave aside infinite metaphors of all the relatives peeping and blinking hard to find an analogy.

Years pass on and the child has started to breathe in other’s shoes, be it his dad or mom, his friends or his sister.

Once he is all set to step into the trail, the big bad world shatters his left over self-hood, his last chance of being his own self, of living in his own shoes, of breathing in his own air, of vaunting his uniqueness. He is all smashed by the repetitive refrains of his own mother saying occasionally “You could have scored a little better than your uncle’s son!” and the story does not find an end here but goes on with the perpetual and frequent attacks by the father who is ready with his peevish remarks “Beta! Your swimming strokes are not as great as Mr x son’s strokes “.

And the very erosion of character starts, the child is now fully shadowed by others. His own individuality eventually takes a back seat. His behavioural pattern starts developing the initial signs of crack. He quite often babbles in himself “yes I have to perform like him or her”.

The basic nature of the child has been overcast, what remains is a cocktail of different characters, personalities and traits. His own reduced to ashes, submerged in the burrow, concealed, clouded and camouflaged. The reflection shows a different person. The child fumbles and stumbles to seek for himself but everyone pushes him to disinherit his real self.

Let’s try to make the child unique and precious in his or her own way saying “You are unique and special in your own way and I love those ways.”

Footsteps can be followed but leaving an individual mark is more important.

Ronita-Maitra Bhandari is a free-lance creative writer who writes for various sites and blogs. She has also done a certified course in “Positive Parenting “from U.K. She is a mom to a 7-year-old and loves nurturing her greatest resource, her daughter. Apart from writing she is a nature lover and gets energised wandering around green patches. She believes family is a treasure chest and children are those precious jewels in the chest who sparkle to illuminate lives. What else would one desire to live a rich life?

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pocket
  • Pinterest
  • WhatsApp
  • Telegram
  • More
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • ← I Want, I Get!
  • 10 Things I Can’t Believe I Was Worried About As A Mom →

You May Also Like

parental pressures

Pressures in life should not kill the essence of life!

May 6, 2016 admin 1

The World Is Your Oyster

February 19, 2013July 13, 2013 admin 33

What To Do If Your Child Is Diagnosed With Dyslexia?

July 13, 2017 Team Parentous 0
Best Sellers in Books
Best Sellers in Baby Products

Popular Posts

  • 10 Things All Indian Parents Say
  • Talking CSA – Making Our Children Safer
  • Letter To The New Parents
  • Who Is Your Child’s Anchor?
  • A Morning With The Nutty Siblings - A Poem
  • Baby Blues
  • Ten Point Guide To Better Parenting
  • How To Maintain Ideal Body Weight During Menopause
  • Books To Help Children Understand Good Touch Bad Touch
  • The 5 Point New Mom Survival Guide

Follow us on Twitter

My Tweets

Parentous on Facebook

Parentous on Facebook

Categories

  • Adolescence
  • Grandparents
  • Health & Nutrition
  • Interviews
  • Kids Corner
  • Memories & Special Bonds
  • New Parents
  • Pandemic Parenting
  • Parenting
  • Parenting Decoded
  • Parentous Infographics
  • Pregnancy & Childbirth
  • Psychological & Social Issues
  • Recipe for Kids
  • Siblings
  • Single Parenting
  • Values & Education
  • Working Moms
Amazon Audible
Copyright © 2022 Parentous. All rights reserved.
Theme: ColorMag by ThemeGrill. Powered by WordPress.