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Dealing with new emotions


It isn’t easy letting go of one’s children when they are getting married. Ask those parents whose children have got married and moved elsewhere. The pain that a parent feels, only he/she knows. I haven’t reached that state as yet since my son is still studying in school but I know there will be a time soon in the future when I will have to experience this emotion. And until that happens, I knew that my teenage son was not going to appreciate or acknowledge the sentiments that went into such a relationship that finally had to be let free.

A recent wedding of a niece of mine changed all that. And surprisingly so! My son, being an only child has not had the opportunity to share his life with an immediate sibling. But, he has gotten along well with many of his cousins. This cousin of his (my favourite niece) is one such indirect sibling who he gels well with. Both are basically extroverts by nature and friendly children.

Shail son and niece

She got married last weekend and my son had a fun filled time at the reception and at the wedding, clicking photographs, connecting with my niece’s in laws and making new friends as is often the case during such auspicious and festive occasions. Everything went off well. Tired and exhausted after attending and participating in the wedding, we began making arrangements to return back home which was in another city.

Suddenly, the the pace of the infectious chatter about the wedding, the bridegroom, the funny incidents at the reception, the gloomy and morose jokers, etc. slowed down. Thinking I was seeing too much into a tired exhibit, I ignored it at first. But, when the smile that usually gleams in my son’s eyes turned to a kind of unexplainable moistness I knew that something was wrong.

As the wheels of the train rattled on, my son’s persona displayed a softer side of the brother that had just seen his sister leave for another home and this time, to a place far away outside the country. Technically speaking, only the wedding rituals had taken place and she still had plenty of time before she actually left for Australia but, the very act of her stepping into holy matrimony had aroused some brotherly instincts and new emotions in my son which I think even he did not know existed.

The loss that one feels when a dear one moves on to grasp the hands of someone outside the family was being felt by my son.

The pain of having to let go of his sister to a stranger only made the emptiness inside more hurting.

Unknowingly, witnessing a wedding at close quarters unlike that in a movie had made my son realize the value of a close knit family.

Suddenly, for him, creating and preserving happy memories had become more important that remembering pain and hurt.

One side of me wanted to hug him and drive away all the unexplainable emotions that he was feeling. Another part of me was happy to see my son becoming more emotionally stable as he was experiencing a new emotion and was acknowledging it too.

Now, there seemed no need to worry about the time when the fledgling would get ready to fly. If he continued to understand emotions the way he did during the course of this wedding, I am sure the little bird would always remember where it came from and would treasure its roots too!’

Shail Raghuvanshi is a freelance journalist, content writer, editor, book reviewer and poet. She has 15 years of writing experience in newspaper, magazine, radio and television. She has worked as a Spoken English Teacher too. She runs a blog for writers called Write Space and blogs at her personal blog Muse N’ Motivation. A daughter, wife, mother and friend, she believes that there is no situation that can’t be made better. Faith, Friendship and Family are what makes her life complete.