• Yamini Vijendran

    Sakshi! Your posts always leave me giggling! 🙂 Love the way you articulate even the most serious issues in such a delightful manner. And I agree with you. Arguing or fighting in front of a child has such an impact on that young mind that you just cannot comprehend. There was once when my husband and me broke into a very heated argument, and for days after that, my son would start crying whenever he saw any man / woman (even on TV) talking to each other in a loud voice. It was a bitter lesson learnt and now we are careful what we say in front of him.

    • You know @yaminivijendran:disqus , my son has learnt to say ‘stop fighting’ indiscriminately, thanks to some cartoon of his. He even uses it for Tom&Jerry. 😛 And my husband, God bless him, has learnt to read my frowns and eyes and does what self-safety demands of him – keeping quiet when the hen is cluck-clucking, and discussing parenting only when the hen is calmer and the child is asleep. 🙂 Thank you for the post. If you are giggling, it’s the best compliment I can get for my writing. 🙂

  • Oh kids learn so fast how to make hay while parents argue the modalities of parenting. No point getting anxious, its normal and it teaches them how to strategize and get on in life. More power to them

    • Which is true too, @phoenixritu:disqus. Getting on in life does demand learning how to strategize – perhaps by seeing right” from “wrong” as it unfolds before their eyes! Thanks! Interesting thought. 🙂

  • Jairam Mohan

    First of all have to completely agree with Yamini when she says that you have a wonderful habit and ability to write about dead serious things in a delightful and humorous manner, and that my friend, is a true gift.

    Regarding the post itself, one of the first things my wife and me agreed when R was born was that whatever our differences were, we would resolve the same in private and present a uniform ‘image’ to R in terms of issues that involved her.

    While we might not have been a 100% successful in this endeavor, I cannot remember a single incident in the last 2 yrs that R has managed to take advantage of an opposite opinion between my wife and me.

    • You are doing a super job – both with the ‘image’ and the fact that not a single incident of ‘taking advantage’ has been inspired. Well, I’m doing my best too, especially since N learnt to say ‘stop fighting’ from a cartoon and uses it whenever he sees aggression around him, even if it’s just Tom&Jerry hammering each other. 😛 @jairammohan:disqus thanks for thinking me ‘gifted’ with a writing style I am struggling to master.(I shall use this comment to get my self ‘materially gifted’ by my husband this weekend. What’s an empty wallet when you are wedded to a precious one, isn’t it?) 😛

  • Juztamom

    A very pertinent topic Sakshi and in my experience of 4.5 years of being a parent, I agree mostly to it. One thing we never discussed but somehow we always knew was to never contradict each other in front of kids but now he is old enough to understand the looks also, like when Mumma gives Dadda a look [Just a tiny tiny look] for extra candy bought..he would go hug and give a big kiss to dadda and then and there the discussion is over…So the moral of the story is..kids will always learn to outsmart you 😉 ;). Beware 😉

    • I know what you mean, @juztamom:disqus I think I can sense it happening already. :O That tiny tiny look is getting caught and deconstructed. Beware is indeed the word! (PS – I have a feeling kids out-smarting us will feel good, most of the times at least!) Thanks for reading!

  • ronita

    interesting Read,,wonderfully put…..we many a time let our expressionflow ignoring the child in front of us but he or she is a silent observer,reactions follow ….their behaviours are are byproducts.

    • Thanks for reading, Ronita. Indeed, their behaviours are our by-products!

  • vvpvijay

    Nice info Sakshi, a very informative and pertinent topic which all parents (and would be) should know about

  • Roshni Aamom

    First of all, your kid (that is he, right?!) is so very cute!What you described, happens only with the first child. When you get to the second, both parents are like ‘whatever! The first one survived, didn’t he?!’!! 😀

    • Hahaha! That’s good to know. Even though the thought of the second one makes me and my hubby run different directions, it’s good to know that ‘whatever’ comes in – sounds so much better than “Oh! He sneezed!’ or ‘Oh! He lost an hour of sleep!’ that goes on for the 1st one 😛 Thanks, Roshni. And yes, that’s him. 🙂

  • Swati Nitin Gupta

    You are so right Sakshi! Kids are observant and they pick up everything even when you think that they are not listening they have all their ears to your conversation.

    • Yes, @swatinitingupta:disqus. Thanks for reading! 🙂

  • inducares

    Very perceptive analysis of the wrong sort of parenting-perhaps it is this which is partly responsible for more and more kids becoming self-willed & rebellious.

    • Self-willed is not so bad, rebel-without-a-cause is, I think. Thanks for stopping by @inducares:disqus 🙂

  • “there are situations we don’t know what to do” – Oh @reemasahay:disqus, I totally understand what you mean. My message contained in this post is easier said than done, and something I too am working on, still! In the example you give me, i am with you. The line between incentive and greed is very thin. And I cannot afford to keep a sack of candy to be handed out everytime N helps me/is a good boy. We have tried to keep both helping and being well behaved as givens, not as special activities. However, I see what your husband means, and perhaps, initially it will be of help too. Hm. I wish I too knew how to resolve the no-resolutions, but I’m sure time will settle things into place. 🙂

  • @disqus_z6rV768TBF:disqus not that I would mind peeping into your house. 🙂 In my 2 years of motherhood, if there is anything that I have realised it is this – We are all beset with similar issues as parents. And our minds work around problems in a similar fashion too. We all can really benefit by speaking to like minded parents. Hence, Parentous for me. And the book, if ever, will be titled – ‘Parenting – by the Confused and for the Confused.’ If, God willing, it ever happens, I will dedicate it to you. 🙂

  • Wow! That’s quite flattering, @riteshagarwal:disqus BIG thank you! 🙂

  • OMG Sakshi, this is what we experience every now and then. Day out at our respective jobs are a boon as we get little time to argue.I am sounding mean but its true. But yes, we need to work out over the different parenting styles to resolve them in an after-discussion not in front of him as he can now understand every single word. That’s a great post.