A while back, one of my friends suggested that we go for a wine tasting session on the weekend. I had been wanting to go out alone for quite some time. Usually I reserve the weekends for family since that is the day that my husband and son are home together. But the problem with that was that most of my friends are working and they would be free only on weekends. So to all the possible plans, I had to say “No, Sorry”.
Finally I decided to go out last Saturday because I was in dire need of some change. As with all things, I sat down with my son, Vi (although he’s just 3 years old, he’s pretty understanding) to explain that I would be going out and he can play with his father on Saturday. Much to my surprise, he started crying and howling. He said, “You no go Amma! Why go? NO GO”. I tried to explain it to him that I needed to go out alone and have some time with my friends since I don’t see anyone during the week. He was totally against it and said,”I will cry if you go”. This crying was becoming some kind of ‘Divyastra’* for him. Use it in any situation and your wish is granted.
I explained that he shouldn’t be crying to get things done. Further I told him that, just like how he likes to go to play in the park with his friends, there are times when Amma likes to do things alone or with her friends. Finally after some coaxing and talking to, Vi finally understood that Amma will go out with her friends. For Vi, up until that incident, Amma was someone who is available 24×7.
She doesn’t need to go anywhere. If Vi is at home, Amma should be too. I realised that until then I have never left Vi alone with anyone. From the time he was born, since I was not away working at an office, there had never been a need for me to be away from him. I should say that I am the only one to blame in this situation, since whenever anyone has volunteered to take care of him for me, I have always said a polite (or maybe not so polite), “No, thank you”. Be it my mom or even my husband. So serves me right, that the boy thinks that he is entitled to all his Amma‘s time.
Finally the day arrived when I had to leave for a day of fun, but yeah, as you can imagine, my mind was in a conundrum if I am doing the right thing or not. The husband pushed and nudged me and said that it was all going to be perfectly fine. He reassured me that Vi and he are going to have some good Dad-Son bonding time. That surely reduced a lot of my unnecessary tension. At the end of a great day which was very relaxing and exciting at the same time, I reached home and knocked on the door.
Waiting for the door to open, I was happy after a day of fun and also a little apprehensive as to how the day was for the duo. As soon as the door opened, Vi jumped up in my arms. The smile and excitement on Vi’s face said it all. He was so so happy to see me and gave all his love in the form of kisses. Finally I knew what a working mom feels everyday when she comes back from work to her child. The anticipation with which the child waits for you. The burst of happiness on his face as soon as he sees you. The love he shows without inhibitions. Some days I do feel I should go work just to experience this ;). On other days, I am happy to be the one who has all the time to spend with my little one up until he is independent.
A 30+ momma who refuses to grow up, Uma enjoys the time she spends with her 3 year old since it gives her a second innings at being a child again. Majored in Fisheries, worked in the Telecom sector and now finally teaching English as a second language to foreign students, she is someone who believes in creating opportunities.
She blogs @ The First Ray of the Sun – Vihaan and you can follow her on Twitter @umanigith