After all, the first smelly lesson in turning parent is potty. That impolite adult conversation topic that takes over your life the day new baby and meconium arrive! Even the most uptight of us have to give up and smell the poo-poo the day we become parents.
And not just that – you have to learn to deal with numerous strangers in the guise of doctors, health visitors, other mothers who want to discuss the state and condition of all things poop!
Slowly but surely you get used to all things potty. From the physicality to the other unmentionables. You get trained in the humble art of detection through your nose (which is no longer upturned at any whiff of such gross conversation).
You can talk about Bum genius and Sudocrem without twitching an eyelid. Wax eloquent about the various manners of diapers? No problem. You can go on about it for hours and you can enthral your coffee morning group with details of a week long constipation – and – how you finally managed to relieve it! Yes I can see you nodding your head there – been there, done that, eh?
However, the early years pass and soon we train and dismiss our pot talk back to the polite confines of ‘washrooms’ and ‘loos’. As our children become more and more human we are happy to get back to civil behaviour. Yet – just when you thought that with potty training goes all the pot talk flush down the tank – you’ve got another thing coming!
They might get trained in the ablutions, but children very rarely have inhibitions. Especially when it comes to potty (or su-su)! Their finest jokes are the ones involving body matter that they have fought quite a bit to get their command over. And it goes on and on! In kidlet’s case it has been going on and on for the last few years. In the beginning one learns to humour the humour (after all ‘hum bhi kabhi bachche the’). Then when the pottiness reaches a crescendo you scream and threaten with adequate wrinkling of nose thrown in. And finally, you give up and resign as your child and her numerous friends still find it something to giggle about.
Better potty humour than really naughty humour you tell yourself. At least these are jokes that you are still getting (essentially anything with the ‘P’ word is funny!!). But weary are the days when one feels like one is living in Diaper Central and there is no escape… sniff-sniff – and there we go again 😉
Nidhi Dorairaj Bruce is a Freelance writer from Mumbai who also manages a parenting website: thechildrensdaily.net . With no formal education in Parenting, she has been getting on-the-job training ever since her daughter, affectionately referred to as ‘the kidlet’, arrived on the scene 5 years ago. You can connect with Nidhi @typewritermom , nidhibruce.com