The Baby Diet To Lose Weight

Before you label me as one of those cat family parent who aspire to have ‘perfect 10’ babies let me clarify this post is not about babies losing weight it is about parents losing weight. Thanks for putting those daggers back, now I can write further without fear of a feeling the steel on my jugular.

You see no matter what we say, all parents and specially moms tend to gain some weight during pregnancy (Please no daggers!). Though in our case it was me who gained most of the kilos that I am yet to shed, while the missus gets chance to play jokes on me that I will be the one who will deliver the third kid.

So after doing a thorough research on various diets, fads, exercises and surgeries, I have reached the conclusion that the best way to lose weight is to follow what the kids eat and eat exactly what they eat. I guarantee this is the surest way to lose weight. (Note: Patent applied by me, but I am giving a free 30 days trial to all Parentous readers). Before we proceed further here is my logic to follow the baby diet.

• Only very rarely you see an overweight baby
• No matter how much the kids eat they are able to burn all the calories and are never short of energy
• No matter how much they play they are never hungry and you always need to run after them.

So there must be something that the kids are doing that is keeping them fit and full of energy. So ladies and gentlemen here is my secret sauce (who has never been a bahu) for losing weight the baby diet way:

Morning Breakfast:

• Get up, pour a glass of milk, add some cornflakes add some sugar, and add some bournvita take two spoon fills. Then scream this is bournvita with chocolate flavor, I want Vanilla flavor. Scream some more. Go hungry to school.
• If you have a toddler follow this: Instead of screaming for a flavor, take milk in a spoon, put it in a plate, then pour the milk from the plate on the newspaper, observe how long it takes to absorb. If some milk is still left try making a Chotta Bheem from it. After all if Chotta Bheem can drink milk, you can make a Bheem out of milk.

Lunch:

Ask 5 times what is for lunch. Once the food is in your plate scream this is Roti, I wanted Parantha. Then proceed to make a big hole in the roti, look from the roti and pass a smile to whoever is looking towards you. Eat the roti that is left after making the hole; the remaining can be given to birds in balcony or to bozo that has refused to eat the dog food.

Dinner:

Once the food is served remember that your favorite serial/movie/cartoon is coming and start watching it. During the break, nibble a bite and say it is cold. Wait for the next commercial break, this time don’t nibble another bite, change the channel and keep on switching between channels.

Pick up a fight with your spouse in the mean time, scream I am not hungry and Ts mama orders Pizza every other day and I will eat only Pizza. Go to bed, sulking.

Midnight:

Get out of your bed, try looking for food, find a piece of 3 days old cake in the fridge and eat it. Go to bed.

Follow this routine for next 30 days and you would have lost a minimum of 7 kilo of weight. If it does not work 100% money back.

But considering this trial was free it is a win-win situation for both of us. If you lose 7 kilos you can join my paid program for 25% discount. If you don’t, what are you complaining for? It was a free program any ways and you not only got to keep your cake for 3 days you got to eat it also!

Sasha and Prasad Np are proud parents of 2 girls whom they fondly call Princess and Pinkette. He wears many hats after taking a break from being corner office critter for a long time. He is now an entrepreneur, blogger, photographer, traveler and a potential investor in start-ups with unique concepts especially if they are in travel related business. He blogs at Desi Traveler, and can be reached at Facebook and Twitter.