Warming Up To Mother!

Can any person take the place of a mother? Ever?

Can the warmth of a mother’s pallu/lap be substituted? Ever?

Can we have enough of a mother’s love? Ever?

Till date, I miss my mother. It’s been years since she passed away. I am a grown up woman, mother of a teenager and yet, there are times when life seems incomplete without the presence of my mother. I do not know whether my son will feel the same about me when I am dead and gone. But, this much I do realise that just like nobody else can take my mother’s place, nobody else will be able to take my place in my son’s life.

This is not a statement made in a fit of emotion or said proudly. I know that the same holds true for all mothers who love their children. I only worry about the time when my son is settled in life, has a good job, a loving family and life for him is more or less complete. Rarely, does such a ‘and they lived happily ever after’ family include aged parents in it.

If they happen to be there, then it is either because they are still alive and have nowhere to go or, the tiny tots need to be taken care of or the house needs to be supervised while the rest of the family is out socialising or on a vacation.

There used to be a time when I was more worried about my son settling down. I still do but as I grow older my mind and emotions fast forward and wonder about the time ahead of settling down. I really do want to engage my thoughts and emotions then to more non attached causes where/when leaving the mortal form will leave me with neither regret nor sorrow.

Mother’s Day was observed recently. Innumerable children would have wished their mothers a Happy Mother’s Day. In a way, it is good because the poor dearie mothers are at least told verbally that their children love them! But, what happens after that? Life goes back to the expectations the children have of their mothers of taking care/supervising their day-to-day activities (read chores) and the expectations that the mothers have of their children of studying and behaving well, of taking care of them when they are older…

Old age frightens me less than the probable expectations that I might have of my son. Old age if more or less healthy is in fact, the right state where one can look at life more objectively having seen it, experienced it all.

Talk as much as I do about not having too many expectations of my son after he is old enough to run his life on his own, I cannot predict my emotions when I am old and weak. Would I then, require more of my son’s presence in my life? Or, would I then, be stable (both, mentally and physically) enough to branch out and direct my expectations to a more service oriented or spiritually catering life?

There’s still lots of time for that, but the sands of time wait for no one so, I wonder, leaping in the meanwhile to the invisible warmth of my mother’s lap.

Shail Raghuvanshi is a freelance journalist, content writer, editor, book reviewer and poet. She has 15 years of writing experience in newspaper, magazine, radio and television. She has worked as a Spoken English Teacher too. She runs a blog for writers called Write Space  and blogs at her personal blog Muse N’ Motivation. A daughter, wife, mother and friend, she believes that there is no situation that can’t be made better. Faith, Friendship and Family are what makes her life complete.