Sometimes I miss those days, those days of independence. I would wake up when a friend would call up, have non-stop chit chats, go for Scooty rides in rains with friends. Spending almost my entire life in a hostel, I have always had many friends. The independence when you don’t have any cares in the world and don’t exactly know where you are going is amazing.
Life has changed so much now; now everything needs to be planned – the mornings, the afternoons and the evenings too. The moment I wake up I have to make a mental task of things that need to happen and one day if that order goes wrong or some things are late I start to panic. I have to think of cleaning the room, then putting the clothes in the laundry, then coffee, breakfast, making Adi ready; the list just goes on but the tasks don’t finish till I sleep.
Motherhood makes you extremely responsible and as a child I never thought about how my mom organizes things, manages three children, her husband and the house. I can’t even now imagine how she did it. Sometimes life feels trapped, like you cannot think beyond your daily tasks; I can’t even remember which movie I saw in the theatre last, or the last time I met a friend. These things don’t bother me a lot but there are days when I feel like wearing my tank top, that loose checked shirt with distressed jeans and my sneakers and just go somewhere where I wouldn’t have to plan everything. But I guess this is what marriage is actually-The trap ;).
Have you seen the song Barso Re Megha from Guru where Aishwarya dances so beautifully in the rain? This song takes me to my own world, it has a smell of independence and the celebration of happiness. But she eventually gets married in the movie and becomes so mature. There is this another song Dil Hai Chhota Sa from Roja. This song has so much girliness and innocence packed in it that we all had once – enjoying nature, finding happiness in smallest of things, small hopes, small desires and small needs. We never knew how the world will be or how things will change.
I’ll tell you one more song celebrating the innocence of a girl, which is Awara Bhavre featuring Kajol from the movie Sapnay. She dances with friends and lives her life in that one song. What is common in these movies that they are all made in Hindi as well as Tamil and they all feature A.R. Rahman’s music. I guess Rahman can understand how a woman feels or celebrates independence/innocence.
Life is just like that when you look back, there are those amazing fun chapters, where you have lived your innocence and that moment of independence. You also know that it isn’t coming back but it can be relived in thoughts and memories and yes…these songs in a way transform me to my good times, so they help me reconnect with my youth and innocence. I am sure everybody has a way to relive that golden period of their lives as these moments should never be forgotten.
They make you realize what you are actually and helps you bring back that innocence in some way. It may be indulging with our children when they play, may be fighting with friends just like that, each one of us needs to find our own ways and let that innocence not go from us. We should ask questions, we should be frank, not hide our feelings, express ourselves and sometimes we should just go and get wet in the rain without worrying about getting sick. Sometimes we should be what we are. Sometimes we should find our childhood with our kids; counting trees, counting the mangoes on the trees, watching thunder with the same innocence. Let’s not be lost, let’s be found.
I am Priyanka, full time mommy to a 2.4 year old Atharva. I’m very old school, I believe in breastfeeding, cloth diapers and natural birth. The last three years have a changed a lot in me, I feel very transformed as a person. I have known various sides of me in this process from pregnancy to motherhood. From cooking to sewing and many more, I have explored many creative activities and still exploring some more…who says being a mother takes away everything? I have gained a lot, learnt a lot. I like to share my stories and chat with mommies. I’m also a social media enthusiast and enjoy blogging at Dailydose.