Parents often get worried when their child starts lying, and I am sure you all would also agree that honesty and dishonesty are learnt at home. We have noticed that young children often like to make up tales and stories and the attempt is not to deliberately lie about things, but the result of an active imagination. Sometimes, somewhere during early school days, your little one will open their sweet mouth and out will pop a whopper lie. As they grow, the innocent truth transforms into sophisticated and deceitful lies.
Why do children lie? We all know that they do it to save face, to get out of trouble and sometimes it’s a habit they have cultivated which they can’t get rid of.
Parents play the most important role models to their children; when the child lies we as parents need to take the time out and discuss the difference between lying and telling the truth. We need to figure out the best strategy to teach them to be truthful.
And what can’t that be? I have come across parents who tend to believe that it’s a child’s nature to lie and it’s their job as parents to punish them for being dishonest. I beg to differ! The harsher you become on them, the more lies they will speak out of fear of being punished.
The best thing to do is, “Be firm on being honest, yet a bit gentle on children.”
I am sure you all would agree that telling the truth has never been easy even for us as adults. We often have to gather a lot of courage to speak the truth, and they are children after all! We as parents need to teach them to be brave enough to own up to their mistakes and admit errors.
As a parent, I have witnessed another child lie right in my face in some situations and his lie has been accepted as truth by the parent, and that’s when everything gets too complicated. We are just going to encourage the child to get away with lies and solve something in an ineffective away, if we believe everything they say. It’s very important to understand when the child is lying and when they are telling the truth.
I believe that for kids “Fantasy is Reality”. We need to teach them that trust is the base of strong and long lasting relations. We trust them and they should in return trust us. To be open with us and tell the truth regardless of how tough it could get. It’s very hard to not to take it personally and to be disappointed when the child lies, as it leads us to start questioning our own parenting. Lying is worrisome, but it’s also important to understand the reason why the child chose to lie.
Remember, all lying is the same. We need to make them believe that deception is wrong and honesty is right. Only then can they make the right choice.
Shazneen says – A daughter, sister, wife and a mother to a 10 year old son Tanush; with all these roles up my sleeve, I read and pursue my writing through my blog ‘Shazneen’s Blog‘. I believe that thoughts are like waves which are difficult to control, hence most of my writings are like the beating of my heart.