Do You Need Your Child More Than They Need You?

How will my child cope with his/her new school? Would they be able to eat on their own when I’m not around? Should I cancel my outstation meeting, because how can I leave my baby alone with my husband??? Will they be alright without me? These are just a few queries posted on our ‘New Mom’s Group’ on a social networking site on a daily basis.

Helping Kids Dealing With Separation Anxiety - Do You Need Your Child More Than They Need You?

I have just been a mom for 3 years now, but I have never believed in keeping Zoe with me 24*7. I know she needs her space, just like I need mine. I’m always there with Zoe when she needs me… Zoe is growing every day, and she is becoming more independent on the daily basis… which I understand and I have started accepting it. I also understand Zoe will only become more independent in future. When we leave Z at school in the morning, she insists on taking her own bag and tells us to leave from the school gate itself. She showers me with hugs and kisses when she wants, but she will not come to you if she does not want to.

I wasn’t always like this… I didn’t trust anyone when it came to Zoe, except my husband. That was a tough phase for me as well as for Zoe. I was clingy and Zoe became clingier. Parenting was new for me, and that is why I was always worried. I guess with time, Zoe and I have grown out of it.

There are moms who fret over leaving their kids alone even for a couple of minutes. There are moms who start getting tensed days before their kids start playschool. Our children are very smart and they understand when their moms get tensed. That is when the problem start, kids start throwing tantrums in front of their already tensed parents. My husband was so tensed when Zoe started school, and Zoe howled on the first two days of school. The moment she was in her school she was quiet and busy playing with her friends.

Now both hubby and me have come to realize that bonding with your child doesn’t mean being with your child 24*7. It means spending quality time together.

So do you think we are clingier and parents need to deal with separation anxiety more than kids.

A story-teller, a Communication Trainer, a Parenting Blogger, a wife to her best friend and mum to the most adorable 2-year-old – Zoe. Falak Randerian, plays many roles, her favorite Being Zoe’s Mom. She runs story telling & communication workshop for kids My Little Chatterbox. You can read her personal blog Being Zoe’s Mom and her parenting website which she runs along with her elder sister www.momsters.in.

  • Reema Sahay

    Falak, I felt you were writing about me. That’s exactly how I have been.I have never left my son with anyone except my husband [not even our parents]. The thing is between us, we understand, what are the things we want to do or not do with him. Others bring their own school of thought and experience. But now school is round the corner and I am a bundle of nerves. It is going to be a major milestone even for me 🙁

    • Falak Randerian

      Awwww… don’t worry so many of us do that. I have gone through this and have learned to let go. You will ease out more in a year of so. All the best to ur sonny for his school.