“Watch multiple re-runs of saas bahu serials. Or ‘Americas got talent’ maybe?”
I wish. Because if wishes were horses, pigs could fly. And because the remote is stuck to a certain Cartoon Network during daylight and ESPN during moonlight. Yes, there is TVR and it may be used some day when there is a precious half hour to spare!
“Sleep the sleep of beauty or babies if you like. Right?”
Because babies don’t sleep ‘on time’ like adults. They are indeed wont to slumber when it is the most busy time of the day for most oldies (which means the morning rush hour of school/cleaning/cooking/
shopping). And when the baby wakes, it’s time for mamma to rock and roll – so one may as well rock a bye-bye to that beauty sleep. And say hello to under eye shadows.
Well, if it is online – then hell, yeah!
If you ever had any doubts about online sizing and merchant bank spams, now is the time you will let go of your inhibitions. When you can barely get out of your pyjamas and match your two slippers, online shopping feels like a boon from above. A lightning strike so bright, you hang on to it for your dear life. You slowly find yourself expounding the benefits of e-tail therapy to all and sundry – including the babe in your arms!
“Do the spa thang”
Ah, sure. The baby massagewalli does turn up to pound the oil onto skin. And if one can get oneself away from the heart-rending wails of the wee one being thus ‘pampered’ – one can possibly get a massage for self. However, unless you have given up on your milk maid status, you need to just hang around in the wings till it is your turn to be useful. And as for all those beauty treatments? You get introduced to the joys of home ‘packs’ and quickie tweezers – and sometimes – and I shudder to say this – even your husbands razors !
“Lounge around in bed”
But of course. This much I must admit. I am in bed at hours when most people are out and about. Only I’m not lying down. Or sitting with my back straight. If at all there is much dangling of feet and arms involved. And as for the thread count of the bed sheets and the pillow menu – ultra absorbent and hypoallergenic is how we like it.
“Get high on food and drink”
This ones a no-brainer. Of course you eat a lot and you are as good as drunk, hallucinating as you are. Much of this work is automated punctuated as it is by wails and smells unrelated to food. You may look at an empty plate and have no recollection of having emptied it. You may go in for seconds or even thirds while you are working out this mystery.
Nidhi Dorairaj Bruce is a Freelance writer from Mumbai who also manages a parenting website: thechildrensdaily.net . With no formal education in Parenting, she has been getting on-the-job training ever since her daughter, affectionately referred to as ‘the kidlet’, arrived on the scene 5 years ago. You can connect with Nidhi @typewritermom , nidhibruce.com