5 Ways In Which I Find ‘Me-time’

‘Me-time’ or ‘time for myself’ is perhaps a new buzz word. I don’t think my mother ever obsessed about the lack of her ‘me-time’ when she took care of her household and kids, occupied with something or the other throughout the day. But this new generation? What to say about the demanding women of this new generation!

5-ways-in-which-i-find-me-time

Every mother – new or not-so-new – would know how it is easy to get sucked into various responsibilities and commitments, and let go of your time for yourself. [Although it may not be a rule but it generally happens with women]. There is always something else that takes precedence over her. But I have come to realize in my 2 years of motherhood that it is extremely important to find that ‘me-time’, not only for your own sanity but also for giving more to other relationships and roles.

These are the 5 Ways in which I find my ‘me-time’:

  1. Mornings: Getting up a little earlier than the whole household goes a long way in setting the mood for the day. If I wake up along with my son, a lot of things does not get sorted or streamlined since he starts following me, seeking my attention. The schedule goes for a toss. So, I like waking up before him and take in the mornings at a slow pace – doing a bit of yoga / exercises or going for a walk / jog.
  2. Afternoons: I do not subscribe to the afternoon beauty nap. First of all, since I am cooped up inside the house for the most of the day, for most of the week; I prefer keeping myself active all the time. In fact, I never sleep in the afternoons or even sit for a long time for that matter. I know many Mommies use this time [when the little ones are sleeping], to finish off chores or plan for dinners etc. I knew I needed to have time for reading and writing to keep my sanity, so I hired a cook for all my cooking. She cooks my breakfast and lunch in the morning and dinner in the evening while I cook for the little one on need-basis. Most of the time, this is the slot when I read books or surf internet, and sometimes write.
  3. Nights: The time when I am really able to write better is after putting my toddler to sleep at night. Once he is in bed [between 9-9.30 pm], I am in the best frame of mind to write. I can read all the time, in any situation or place, but I need a relaxed state of mind to organize my thoughts to write. In afternoons, I am usually checking on my son every few minutes; so it never really offers a good time to write.
  4. At Home: Since our ‘star’ is over 2 years now, he has started going out with Daddy on his own [without Mommy]. I encourage them to go out together, which offers me a relaxed time at home. I would like to read during this time but invariably I end up putting the house in order [which is another of my passions]. A clean house with everything in place is an instant mood-lifter for me, while the process helps me de-stress.
  5. On my own: After my son’s first birthday, I started going out for movies or lunch or shopping with my friend once I went alone too. I don’t go too often but whenever I do, I enjoy that break a lot. It reminds me of old times when I could just while away my time by window shopping or sipping coffee at my favourite café.

To many, it may look frivolous; and many might judge me for wanting to take time off from family. But I feel that it is important to de-stress and be happy from within. Unless you are happy with yourself and your situation, you would not be able to offer love and happiness to other people in your life.

So what is your de-stress mantra? How do you find your me-time?

Reema Sahay is a Stay-At-Home-Mom, Freelance Writer, Voracious Reader, Passionate Blogger, Social Media Enthusiast, Internet Junkie and Ex-Marketing Communication Professional. She spends her days running after her very curious toddler, ‘the star’, and catching up on books when he naps. She writes about charms and challenges of life at Pen Paper and shares her passion for books at Recommend Books. She sometimes feels that her 5.5 years stint in Marketing Communication was in another life

  • Yamini Vijendran

    Oh no,no! It is not frivolous in the least Reema! I do each and every one of the points you have mentioned too (ok, not the writing in the night part – I am more of a day-bird 🙂 ). People look at me strangely since I am always at home but still S goes to a day care, but say, who are they to judge us. We are the judges of our own lives and we must to whatever required to preserve our sanity. And I have only found that my arrangement has worked out to the best for all of us, S, me and my husband. So I am happy that I took that move!

  • Sid Balachandran

    Oh Reema, I feel your situation:). As I’m between jobs at the moment, I’m kind of a full-time dad presently. I’m sure my wife agrees with you as well, since she has a full-time job apart from being a full-time mother. It’s imperative that “we” find time for ourselves and the family. Great to know that you’re de-stressing 🙂

  • Nischala

    Reema – Very important topic. Of all above, I think (1) makes the most difference. Just waking up a few minutes / hours before everyone does and investing it in yourself goes a really long way. To each his / her own . But as parents I think that “ME Time” is so very important, and probably the best gift you can give yourself! And what I’ve realized is that no one will ever give it to you. You’ve just got to say that this is important for me, do it. Things will fall in place. Nischala

  • ParentEdge

    Important and relevant post Reema – something that most young parents forget or feel guilty about. As you rightly say, unless I am happy, how can my child be happy? And all my stress and frustration will rub off on her in any case. Here are a few more things that could work:

    – Take up a hobby or pursue something that you are interested in, setting aside some time for yourself every day, time that is sacrosanct and cannot be interrupted.
    – Leave your children behind with their grandparents and go out as a couple – for a dinner, for a movie, or even a holiday. Focus on yourselves for a change – as individuals, not just as parents.
    – Parents should do things together, maybe go for a walk every day or take up a joint hobby. Not only will this be a time of togetherness and allow you to talk, but such activities are de-stressing by their very nature.
    Many of us, when we become parents, forget to be a couple :).
    Kritika
    http://www.parentedge.in

  • Me time is very important. Some good tips from you. Any body reading this may laugh but at times I just lock myself in bathroom and read sitting on the pot… but that is where I do a most of my reading

  • Gauri

    It is not frivolous at all, Reema. “me-time” is indeed underrated, both as a concept and a deed and there are a great many who feel guilty over this. I wake up earlier than the rest of the household and yes, that half hour is important to me because that is when I gather my thought processes and plan my day ahead in my head, uninterrupted. Both Macadamia and Pecan are chronologically in double figures now and there have been many people who have said “you must be having a lot of time on your hands now”. Quite the contrary. As they grow older, their physical dependency on parents decrease but there are so many other things that demand your attention, as a parent. So yes, the quest for “me-time” is an ongoing process and a very important one, at that :-).