My early days of childhood have a very peculiar combination of two parents following two doctrines, I am sure it was the case of many in my generation.
Among the two parents one would adhere to quite stringent rules and regulations in the house while the other would be the benign one who would definitely spare those rods and well to some extent spoil the child.
This was indeed a common story in our generation where we would have at least two pair of eyes always hovering around us, quite wake full all the time. A clear-cut instruction of time would play a very important role in our lives earlier. I still remember those days when my eyes used to flutter around the wall clock and my ears would wait for those words “now, you can go outside and play” and that would be just like releasing a prisoner off from the muzzled chambers or may be taking off those ever tight shoes from the stifled feet. The ecstatic joy of sniffing the air of freedom and indulging in some of the pleasant tasks were unfathomable.
Contrary to that in our generation, we as parents have changed a few or many of the conventional guidelines and parenting rules. The basic nurturing theory has adapted to a more flexible kind of parenting method.
With a changed life style, parents have sculpted the old chart books and have started to adhere to the new principles of being more amiable towards their offspring.
Both the parents are assuasive and the kids are aware of it. Times have changed and it’s more of a flexi-time, flexi-food and flexi principles trend with various options in the bag.
A new age mom would rather phonate in a lighter tone by renewing the time-table according to time-preference of both the child and parents with lots of space for the extra-things…20 minutes for the Ipad, 30 minutes for the internet ransacking, 1 hour for some multifarious overloaded kids channels, 2 hours for study and some for extracurricular activity. Hard boiled idealism is least on the menu but supple generosity is quite on the chart.
The food platter too has imbibed a new attire unlike our days, when we used to satiate on with the regular food menu on the table(with weekend alteration) if not, then would have taken refuge of all the angles our eyes could cook to shield away those displeasures of finding a healthy combo with a balanced food diet. But now mothers are too wild in experimenting and off course the very ductile approach of the mom’s might end up making great innovations or smarter mutations rather than the conventional ways. Even the ready-made takeaways are more frequent. That definitely strikes the appetite without glowering glances.
Now the debate arises about the right path or the virtuous way of upbringing.
The conventional methods, the rational approach, the austere ways, few of the stern phrases, the stringent discipline code at least by one parent or the malleable approach, the softer tone, the flexible mode, the spongy overt expressions, the ever praising attributes? What is the right way?
An open-ended write-up because I myself am exploring different ways, experimenting with my parenting skills and mixing and matching many from the parenting bag …may be the middle path? What say?
Ronita-Maitra Bhandari is a free-lance creative writer who writes for various sites and blogs. She has also done a certified course in “Positive Parenting” from U.K. She is a mom to a 7-year-old and loves nurturing her greatest resource, her daughter. Apart from writing she is a nature lover and gets energised wandering around green patches. She believes family is a treasure chest and children are those precious jewels in the chest who sparkle to illuminate lives. What else would one desire to live a rich life?