• “Verbal and/or emotional ‘hitting’ is very subtle but leaves much deeper scars than physical punishment.” – My God. I had no clue about this. I’m scared to sit and review my 2 years as a parent, for even though I have not hit him, as yet, I know I may have said things which I should not have. I am sure situations will unfold when my hand will do the talking (even as my docile better half tries to stop me) but as of now, I have resolved to not hurt or cause intentional pain. But then, tomorrow is always another day and I might eat up these words. And if, at any point I feel my temper is what needs help and not my child, I will be consulting you, doctor Asrani. 😀

    • Dr Chander Asrani

      Sakshi
      As we say, “I have taken enough and can not take any more”, children also keep gathering what we parents either say or do. I am shocked when some kids of 4-5 come out with such horrible terms about their parent(s) and their conviction is very hard to shake. Eg a boy who has decided that his mother hates him (a collective decision after such several comments/ actions) says “I never try to please her because I will never be able to…”. Their psyche although very fragile is very strong as well.

  • Reema Sahay

    I believe in no-hitting too, but I am still learning to be unconditional in parenting. ‘If you do this, then you get that. If you don’t listen to me, I am going.’ And I KNOW these are wrong. I am working on it. As you said, our expression has more to do with us than our child. We have to sort our own issues first. Thank you for reminding 🙂

    • Dr Chander Asrani

      Like we remind kids, repeatedly, to behave; we also need to remind ourselves – Behave or kids will learn….