Bad Mommy!

So, this is the fifth story that I am telling her, its been half an hour and still just half the cup of milk is finished!! She makes that yucky face again and says “nai peena” and this time my patience calls off and there is this “phataaak” on her arm (believe me, I d didn’t hit her hard, just a slight touch).

Bad Mommy!! - Being A Bad Mom - Inculcating Values In Children

The sound of her crying must have reached 2 kms at least and very smartly she runs to her dadi and escapes from her milk drinking session. This is the daily evening saga. Welcome to little miss M’s world of tantrums.

Raising your child in a joint family has both pros and cons. Of course, the advantages are more as the entire responsibility is not on the mother’s shoulders, the child learns family values, has got more to share and play with everyone and so on… But it has got some disadvantages too like the child becomes more stubborn and manipulative. Like in my case little M is so smart, she knows where to run when I am in a bad temper as she is aware I won’t shout much in front of all elders and there will be someone or the other to save her. Thankfully in my case, my in-laws are not the kinds who would take her side even when she has done something wrong or would agree to all her tantrums and demands. But after all they are grandparents and they would never want to see tears in the apple of their eye!!

Since M is the only child in the house, she is treated no less than Queen Victoria!! ;-). She gets up in the morning and has everyone waiting for her welcome!! (I am sure most of the single children must be getting the same treatment). She would not want to share her stuff with anyone, has power struggles like “I can do it myself” or “I want it, give it to me!” and lastly the dramatic way of seeking attention takes place like screaming, crying, falling on the floor and things that are almost impossible to ignore!!

So when everyone gives up, it’s time for the Mommy to enter and handle the brat!! Luckily, I am just the one whom M is a bit scared of and listens to! (As of now). So many times when I scold her, she has told me, “Mamma, you are very bad!!” And honestly, I don’t mind being a Bad mommy at least in this terms. 😉

I don’t know how much she would listen to me in the future, but as of now, like every mother I want to enforce at least some values in her. In this fast developing world, where things change within a fraction of a second, I want her to be street smart but not shrewd. I don’t want to make things too easily available for her; she should know the importance of hard work. Like we have helpers at home and she has started ordering them too for petty works. Would you believe, she is just two!! I do try to correct her and ask her to do things on her own, explain and even scold her but then she is just two, and I can’t be a “Hitler Mom” all the time.

There was this discussion with my friends regarding her school the other day. Almost everyone in the group suggested me to send her to an ultra – posh one (subject to admission) and advised to drop her by personal car. Now this is some idea which I am not in for. I mean yes, of course, I would want to send her to the best schools but it should be as per our status, shouldn’t be too hi-fi!! She needs good education and not a tag to show-off!! I have seen cases where the kid ultimately becomes such where he/she is ashamed of travelling in a public transport, becomes a gizmo – freak, has high demands and expectations, which leads to peer pressure!! I want my girlie to remain grounded all the time, whatever heights she reaches in the future!!

Well, I guess I am taking a too far sighted approach for a toddler who is in her terrible two’s right now. 😉  But yes, I will not entertain her tantrums or meet her unnecessary demands by getting afraid of her screaming and crying dhamkis. For making her a “good person”, I don’t mind being a “Bad Mommy”!! As, at the end of the day, both of us know, whom does mamma love the MOST!! 🙂

How do you handle the tantrums of your hyperactive kiddo?? What values would you want to teach him/her?? Would love to hear some ideas and suggestions!! 

I am Nitika Sipani, an interior designer by profession, full-time job as of now is that of a mother of a 2-year-old daughter (Myra) whom I dearly call ‘Little Miss M’! Of all the jobs till date, this one is the most challenging and every day is a new learning experience!! I enjoy writing and have developed it as a hobby, would like to become a freelance writer someday! You can connect with me on my blog: Juss lik dat.

  • Hi Nitika,
    I am also staying in a joint family and my five-year-old is extremely clever and knows when to butter up his daadi or daadu or mommy. And yes I have also heard this from A’s mouth many times and I am sure as long as I know that I am doing for his better interests I don’t mind being bad mommy.

    • Nitika sipani

      Thanks Swati, I thought I was the only one.. 😉

  • sweety

    Hi Nitika, you are on the right path. Better Be a bad mommy now than to regret later. My girl also tries to behave like this and run to her grandma, but I make sure she understands what wrong she has commited. This is the right time to inculcate values like sharing, honesty, compassion etc . The better the foundation, the better the human. Happy parenting 🙂

    • Nitika sipani

      Hey sweety, I second you completely.. I feel being strict is neccesary at times but in the right way!! Good to hear similar points from you all.. 🙂

  • “She needs good education and not a tag to show-off!! ” – BRILLIANT. Glad there are some of us still believing in this! 🙂 Nice post!

    • Nitika sipani

      Thanks Sakshi, I seriously don’t like the snobbish attitude of kids going to ultra modern schools. Hope little M gets admission in the right school.. 🙂

  • Bindu Manoj

    That was the one thing I actually used to fight with my m-i-l over 🙂
    Its been a tough fight, but they know where they stand. In fact, when my daughter was small and trying one of her tantrums, son who who is older was telling her, “No use crying in this house” 🙂