Mission: Raising One Happy Teenager

Now that the excitement of Class X results has abated, a new era begins. Coaching classes, time management blues and oh, yes, school!  Class XI is a crazy time for the 15-year-old. Most of them, depending on the subjects they choose or the curriculum they have studied in are likely to step into “college” while others like my son choose to continue in the same school for the next two years.

Mission: Raising A Happy Teenager - 7 Tips for raising Happy Teens

A number of these students are no strangers to coaching classes – since a majority aim for professional courses whose entrance exams are tough to crack. Thanks to an institute that offers coaching classes for these joint entrance exams that approached the school to choose a handful of meritorious students for free coaching, our son also goes to a coaching class.

Needless to say (but I have to say it anyway) time is super tight. We’re enjoying the last week of his school holidays before the academic year begins next week. While I am quite sure that after the initial time management struggles he will settle down to the new routine, I have to confess that I secretly freak out thinking of how he is going to juggle school, school work, coaching classes and the related assignments and tests and music class with practice sessions. Oh, not to forget his hobbies, being an avid reader and devoted artist.

As my head silently reels, I am thinking of ways to keep him mentally and physically healthy so that he can handle the various pressures that go with his territory with ease. I realize we must have a broad daily schedule that will help him pack in all that he wants to do. Here’s what I have on my list – we do most of these things, but find that it is always a good idea to revisit!  I am not going to talk about food since that is a given.

Practice what we preach as parents

As working parents, our stress levels fluctuate between high and higher, so we consciously have ways to minimize it. We do this by getting enough exercise. We’re blessed with a beautiful lake and a walking area around it and make sure we go for that walk at least four times a week. This takes care of together time where we get to talk and share things and exercise. Exercise is a proven way to reduce stress.

Get enough sleep

If there is one way to guarantee good health, it is getting enough sleep. We are often guilty of staying up late to finish pending stuff, but now we have a house rule that we’ll go to bed at a specific time because no matter when we sleep, I am up at 5.30 am and the others are up at 6.30 am. Teenagers need at least nine hours sleep for good mental health and staying sharp. It helps them handle the day better. My son makes sure he is in bed latest by 10 pm so that he can be up around 6.30 – 6.45 am.

Exercise

While it looks like I covered this in the first point, that was about stress. This one is specifically about exercise for him. Being busy is not the same as being fit. Physical activity is a must for growing kids. It relieves stress and keeps them in a good mood. Our son ensures he gets at least one hour every day – stretching, jogging and walking, besides games at school. Then there are those household chores he helps with that count just a wee bit.

Don’t give up on hobbies

Everyone needs a creative vent and children are no exception. When they lose themselves in their favorite hobbies, they are mentally healthy, happy and energized. Our son is devoted to music and is in his eighth year of music school. He also enjoys sketching and reading. We enjoy the results. I know a lot of people believe that Grade 11 and 12 must be focused on studying, but it should not be to the exclusion of relaxation. We are not raising zombies.

Give them space

I’ve always believed in facilitating rather than pushing – God knows today’s teenager has enough stress to handle. Why should growing up be hard? Besides physical space of their own, growing children need mental space. Space to be quiet, where they can let their thoughts wander, dream and regroup their energies. Space to let them look within and feel good about themselves.

Encourage them to talk

While space is essential, so is communication. We encourage our son to share his problems. So maybe we can’t always solve them, but it always helps to get it out in the open. Out of our heads, problems always look smaller. Bottling up is bad for health. Talking reduces anxiety. I also encourage my son to email me or his Dad whenever he likes. The sheer novelty of doing it has built a nice and cozy channel of communication between us.

Dual routines

We have a routine for school days and a different one for days when the evening is free. Strangely, weekends are busiest. The three days when the evening is free are Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays and we make sure they are devoted to together time as much as possible. They are also evenings for connecting with neighbours, visiting friends or the local welfare home.

Life will always have something to worry about. Coping is a necessity. But so is having fun in the process.

After all, healthy child, happy child, right?

I’d love to hear your comments/tips.

Vidya Sury is a happy work-at-home Mom who relishes the joy of parenting. She is a freelance writer, business blogger and social media enthusiast and loves DIY, Books, Coffee, Music, Photography, Family, Friends and Life. She believes that Happiness is a DIY Project. She blogs at http://vidyasury.com and tweets as @vidyasury.

  • I think you’ve covered all the bases Vidya. Teenage is very stressful.

    • Thanks, Ritu. Somehow I seem to discover something new and learn every other day!

  • These are definitely good to know and re-visit, Vidya! I’m glad you included exercise and relaxation opportunities!

    • Thanks Roshni. You wouldn’t believe it – but that coaching class advises the students to study, study, study throughout their waking hours, which is quite ridiculous 😀

  • Coming from your post on blog… the write up now looks to be such a holistic stand on parenting. I liked that you have almost made it a check by point list for everyone and can thus help gauge whats missing on the whole.

    Special mention of eight year music school, I am myself a four year completed classical singer and so the eight year thing I know is very tough. I myself quit because of studies. Kudos to you and your son. All the best 🙂

    • Thanks, Richa. It is tough some days…but worth it. I am glad my son loves music very much – he’s also crazy about 1930’s to 50’s Bollywood music and is an encyclopedia of those years. 🙂

      I hope you practice music now. Great soul-soother – for the singer and the listener 😀

      Thank you for your kind comment!

  • jOY

    Yes..*love* this! I am now the mom of *two* teenagers–ha!– but here is the thing. I don’t listen to “what is supposed to happen”–the drama and angst and blah…I tap into the feeling of presence I have shared with my children and we learn daily the “hows” of it all…which seems to involve allowing essence and being to evolve and building in ample space and time to each day for connection and also refreshment. I love love love your tips…and I celebrate the wonderful reflection you are sharing with your son (and us!)

    • Ah, Joy! Like my Mom would say, two is better than one! Like you, I enjoy the presence every day – and the ability to connect with my son through laughter and love. Everything else then just falls into place. And I find it quite okay to learn along with him, it is a lovely journey! After all, only one life to live. Why not fill it with happiness?

      Hugs! I am so happy you came by!

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