Does communicating with your child means just giving instructions, setting boundaries, telling them what is wrong and what they cannot/should not do? I think it is extremely important to strike a one to one communication with your child.
When we were growing up, asking too many questions or having a healthy debate with our parents was not considered good. If you question them back… most of the time the response would be “because I told you so…” And if you still didn’t stop questioning them, you were called a rebel. Well, it is time things have changed, and I do see a change in things, but we still have a long way to go… I still have a long way to go.
I think while communicating with your child it is important not only to tell them things, it is equally essential to listen to your child. Try and get to know the person your child is, instead of just thinking s/he is absolutely like one of you. Listening to your child, will make them trust you even more. If you communicate with your child regularly and be beside them when they need you, the bond between you and your little one will grow stronger. For this it is also extremely important to treat your child with respect.
Zoe is a little kid under 2.5 years and we as parents respect her as an individual person. She has many traits she takes from both of us, but there are some traits which are unique to Zoe. We make sure we take out a moment every day, besides our play time and story time together to just speak to her. We take her inputs on little things, like the dress she’d want to wear or what she’d like to have during her meals.
Whenever (if at all) we have to say ‘No’, we always give her a reason. Both hubby and I make sure we speak slowly, stressing on words, maintain a nice tone, and having a pleasant look on our face. Right now a third person will not completely understand what Zoe says, but both of us don’t need to put in any extra effort.
Another thing which we keep in mind is, to pay attention when she speaks to us… that means no books, no mobile phones, no laptop, no TV, just Zoe and either of us. This session is full of cuddles and hugs (if she is in that mood). Once your kid is in school, you should ask them about their days… there are times when your child won’t be in a mood to speak to you and that is perfectly fine.
I have seen a lot of parents saying that their children seek attention when they constantly call their parents; this is not always the case. As parents it is extremely important for us to hear them out and get our message across. When speaking to Zoe, I try and make sure I get to her level and speak to her, without having anything else running in my mind.
I do try to keep my conversation simple, as she is still pretty young and learning to communicate. I try to restrict my ‘Nos’, because I read somewhere – when you say ‘don’t’ to your kids, they ‘do’ the same thing over and over again… hence I try to keep the conversation as positive as possible. And lastly, I try my best to respond to Zoe when she calls for me.
I think … no matter how old or young your child is, you should/can always strike a nice conversation with him/her. What is your take on the same… do you COMMUNICATE with your child?
A story-teller, a Communication Trainer, a Parenting Blogger, a wife to her best friend and mum to the most adorable 2-year-old – Zoe. Falak Randerian, plays many roles, her favorite Being Zoe’s Mom. She runs story telling & communication workshop for kids My Little Chatterbox. You can read her personal blog Being Zoe’s Mom and her parenting website which she runs along with her elder sister www.momsters.in .